


The One They Couldn't Have

by Rozene_Nobody



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Curse Breaking, Curses, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hisoka is a perv, Multiple Endings, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, chrollo for the win, hisoka is a creep but nothing new i still love him, reader - Freeform, reader is feitan's friend, slight crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozene_Nobody/pseuds/Rozene_Nobody
Summary: (Name) is the one they couldn't have. They wanted her so many times but she escaped before she gets too attached. She leaves as she tries not to get attached but each time she sees them it gets harder. Now how will fate have its way with her?
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader, Illumi Zoldyck/Reader, Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 127





	1. Interesting Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This story was originally published on July 21, 2017 on my quotev and can be found[Here!](https://www.quotev.com/story/9819027/The-One-They-Couldnt-Have/1)**
> 
> And should absolutely not be anywhere else. 
> 
> Hisoka is a perv is my only warning tbh but if you seen the anime and read the manga then I'm sure you know what to expect with gore/violence wise.
> 
> Now I hope you hunter x Hunter fans are ready since of course the three main boys are badasses and are sadistic men which means of course spicy scenes.
> 
> **Reader is around Feitan's age which is said to be in the late twenties so she'll be in her mid-twenties!**
> 
> I don't own any pictures when I show my OCs, in this case Etsuko!

I let out a deep sigh as I hold Feitan's hand tightly. My friend and dear personal doctor, [Etsuko](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a3/46/3c/a3463cf944e5eae9cac3de4c8d1d5a68.jpg), holds a needle and thread steadily. I feel sharp pricks of pain on my abdomen and the deafening silence in the room as she keeps puncturing my skin. It feels like hours of that pain until she is done.

Once so Etsuko hands Feitan a towel and he dabs at my sweaty forehead. “Are you going to need the painkillers now?” Etsuko asks reaching in her pocket already knowing the answer.

I sit up gratefully taking the bottle of strong painkillers that is sure enough to get me high and away from this pain. I smile. “Thank you.”

“Of course, anything for two old friends... Speaking of which, why are you both here? And how did you get that nasty injury?" She asks pushing up her glasses before staring at us.

I laugh. “You are weird for asking your patient that after the fact of fixing them.”

“You are weird too (Name). I do not know why you take painkillers after you get all healed up,” Feitan states with his mouth covered, from his black scarf, and his eyes piercing my body. 

I wave him off. “Either way, I just ran into Feitan after I did a job, which is how I got my injury. Pure coincidence but I am lucky, otherwise I would have bled to death.”

Feitan's gaze grows harder and colder and I do my best to ignore it. After all, he knows I am lying about how I got my injury. It was a deep cut in my abdomen and the person tried to slice up and deep to my heart but could not. I was able to escape. I told Feitan when he found me that I was jumped but he knows I am much stronger than to let that happen to me.

I let out a sigh as I look at Etsuko. “I need to get going.”

With that said we leave saying our goodbyes. Once outside I start walking toward the direction of a certain city that I will stay at for quite a while. 

Feitan lets out an annoyed sigh as he speaks in a monotone voice, “You were not jumped. You are known as the Mercenary Death Angel. That means you do things solely for your own benefit and received quite the reputation for doing so. So, what job did you take that made you get that injury?”

“Awe does Feitan actually care about me?” I ask in a teasing voice as I go to grab his arm so I can hold onto it while we walk.

He groans. What do you think dumbass? We have known each other since we were little including Etsuko. We do not have any blood family, but I will always call both of you my family. So, I wish to torture the hell out of whoever harmed you.”

His answer surprises me and I am actually stunned by it. I feel elated as I realize he does care. I thought he only dealt with me since we shared our hometown, but this actually makes me really happy.

“Feitan... I wish I can tell you, but I can't. All I can say is the person who hurt me was a new acquaintance and he challenged me to a fight. I accepted and got hurt nothing else to say,” I mutter.

He scowls. “You are stupid.”

My eye twitches in annoyance but he continues, “Well either way when you get tired of your stupidity, you can rely on me. I will torture anyone for you.”

~*~

Those words remained with me for a long time, long after we both went our separate ways. I wish I can rely on the sadistic man I grew up with but that is impossible. I will never be close to anyone. If I try bad things will happen to them. I will cause them harm and that is something I would never want to do to the people I love. 

I am shaken away from my thoughts when I bump into someone in the underground room- Bringing me back to my current reality of trying to get a Hunter’s License. 

I quickly bow my head in a form of an apology. “I am sorry for bumping into you. Please forgive me.”

I feel the person's piercing gaze on my form before I hear them let out a chuckle. “You are fine. I am thankful you apologized. I do hate it when people are rude.”

I look up and offer the man a smile to which he plasters on a fake smile back. His aura is dangerous, and I do not like it. I will need to be wary of him. 

“I should go prepare myself for the First Phase of the Hunter's Exam,” I say softly looking for an escape.

“Oh? Is it your first time too? I'll look forward to passing with you...?” The redhead man pauses.

I quickly answer to not be rude. “(Name).”

“(Name)... I am Hisoka. It looks like the exam will start soon. Good luck,” Hisoka leaves me be.

What an odd man...

~*~

I let out a deep sigh. I am the final person in the last stage. Everyone else failed or got disqualified because they were too ignorant or just plain stupid. Hisoka got disqualified for trying to kill an examiner. I shake my head in disapproval at the thought. Right now, I am currently waiting in a restaurant full of the examiners and am waiting for Netero, the old man, to come out of the kitchen. 

When he does, he has a black case with him. He smiles at me. “Congratulations on passing the Hunter's Examination. Right here I have your Hunter's License. I'm aware you already know how to use it but the final thing I must do before I give you it is to ask why you want to be a hunter.”

“I can go on jobs that will not be illegal anymore to me. You see I am a mercenary so I go on certain jobs that will benefit me. Mostly for money,” I explain.

Netero laughs. “Honesty is a good charm, my dear. Now here you go. You are officially a hunter.”

I thank the man and leave the place making sure my face is devoid of any emotions. I can go killing now and it will not be illegal… That illegal depending on where I go. I can also get much more money, so I am thankful for that. 

I start leaving this odd cheery city but feel a certain presence behind me- Following me. I turn into an alley and am surprised to see Hisoka who followed me. “What do you want?” I ask.

“You are the only one who passed. I would like to challenge you to a fight.” Hisoka is smirking.

I give out an annoyed sigh. “I do not wish to fight you.”

Hisoka's smirk only widens as he takes out a card. I frown and put my protective layer of Nen up. Luckily, someone interrupts us. It is the same someone who damaged me months ago. 

“(Name), what are you doing here?” Illumi asks as he jumps down from a building and into an alley.

He is between Hisoka and me. “I finished taking the Hunter's Exam. What do you want?” I ask getting heavily annoyed.

Illumi looks at me with his emotionless eyes. “I was here on a job and saw you being followed. It has been a while since I last injured you. Do you want to fight again?”

Hisoka is getting peeved from being ignored and I reply to Illumi. “No, but I would like to go on your next job with you since I earned your respect. Hisoka you can challenge me when you pass the Hunter's Exam. Let's go Illumi.”

Hisoka seems to accept that answer and disappears. Illumi just shrugs and looks at me before saying, “Oh my mother wishes to meet you. She likes excellent fighters that are female, so we will be going to my home first.”

~*~

_If only I did not go with him. If only I did not tell Hisoka that. Maybe if I didn't do those things, I would not be scared of them. Scared of hurting them that is._


	2. Yes, Join the Assassin's Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi's mother wants to see Reader. We all know why. Reader visits Feitan for possible help.

I let out a soft sigh as I think for a moment on the walk up the mountain. Honestly, for a bunch of assassins, you would think they would hide where they live. But no. It is the main tourist attraction here. I roll my eyes at the thought when we finally reach the top where we are greeted by a large door and an old man.

“Welcome home, Master Illumi,” The guard greets.

Illumi glances at the old man. “Hello, Zebro. Alert the household that I have a guest.”

The man looks at me with a little bit of shock before disappearing back into his workspace. Illumi glances at me before opening the gates. From the looks of it, the gates must weigh a ton since there are multiple doors. I do not bother to ask about it as we go up the mountain once again in silence.

I close my eyes, content with the lack of silence as we walk. That is until I felt an immensely powerful presence ahead and I frown upon seeing a lady in front of us. “Illumi! You brought her!” The lady says happily.

I quickly bow my head- Understanding that this must be his mother who wanted to meet me so bad. “Nice to meet you Lady Zoldyck. I only have one name- (Name).”

I am surprised to feel her hand go and grab mine so boldly. “Please do not be so formal with me! Call me Kikyo! Let’s hurry. The tea will get cold otherwise.”

What the fuck is going on. I look at Illumi for any hints but of course, the jerk has to be completely oblivious and emotionless to this. Kikyo leads me to their estate and my eyes bulge out of my head seeing how rich they are. Feitan, Etsuko, and I would have loved to dream about living here back in Meteor City.

Immediately, we are inside… a tea parlor? All I know that it is incredibly fancy and I feel out of my element here- Used to being surrounded by not-so-great things. Kikyo is having me sit across from her and besides Illumi. 

“Mother, I brought her like you asked to meet her. Do you really need to chat? Our mission is up soon,” Illumi asks genuinely confused.

I can sense more presences in the house especially one or two eavesdropping on us. I frown. It puts me on edge. “Now my child. Be patient. This is highly important,” Kikyo states.

Illumi only nods and drinks his tea. I scowl and look at the alluring woman before me with her robot eye and just wow... She is a total badass. “So, you are a mercenary? That is pretty much close to an assassin just with extra jobs,” Kikyo starts out.

I nod. “Yes. I get many odd jobs.”

“I see. Well, I can tell how strong you are by how tense you are. You do not need to be tense. It is just my children eavesdropping. Killua is behind the wall with my youngest Kalluto,” She murmurs out as I hear a crash.

Killua looks angry as he comes out. He is a white-haired boy who is dangerous. I can feel his power and it reminds me of Illumi’s- Just not quite polished since of how young he is. I frown and the other one is a smaller child wearing a kimono. Killua frowns but says nothing as he sits down on the couch in the room with Kalluto. I sigh as I take a sip of my tea. 

Kikyo then nods at me. “Now on to the real point on why you are here! I think it is about time for Illumi to think about marriage and you are the perfect woman for him. I knew you would be the one as soon as I laid eyes on you!”

I spit out my tea in an instance. I feel the liquid drop onto my own clothing. “What?!” I ask alarmed.

Illumi is scowling. “Mother, what do you mean?”

Kikyo smiles at her child. “You need to get married soon Illumi. You are going to get old fast and now is a perfect time! You need to carry our bloodline of assassins on!”

“I see. Okay, I will get married,” Illumi states completely emotionless to this situation.

My eyes go wide and bulge out of my head as I stare at him. “WAIT! WHAT? YOU AGREED?!”

“Of course. Everything I do is for the family. Marrying you, we would raise excellent assassins,” He says his voice devoid of emotion but his tone a little too happy and oblivious.

I look at the two and stand up. “Okay yeah, no. I am not getting married. I do not wish to be married nor can I get married so buh-bye.”

Just as I am about to turn around and leave Kikyo slams her hands down on the table startling me. She is angry but there is a smile on her face and a kind tone to it. “I will give you a year to think about it (Name). I understand this is a very large decision and I do not want you to rush into it but it’s a decision that must be made and I will not take no for an answer.”

She is giving me a year to say yes basically... I have no choice in what she is telling me. This lady is crazy but I am just going to tell her yes before I murder Illumi on the mission. Yes. That is a brilliant plan. I nod my head and force a smile. “Thank you for giving me such a considerate amount of time. I am afraid Illumi and I must go now for our mission.”

I turn around only to hear her speak happily to Illumi, “Don’t worry son! When you return, I will have your father give you lessons on what to do and say to the lady you are going to marry. That way you are more aware of your emotions for her and can protect her.”

Illumi looks confused about what she is saying but nods. “Alright, Mother. Goodbye Mother.”

I leave the house now not saying a word. Illumi follows me and I refuse to speak to him until we are no longer on his territory. A few hours later when we are on a blimp I explode. “ILLUMI I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND YOUR MOTHER!”

“This is why Mother likes you. You are willing to kill us. It is wise to just accept the fate that has been set,” He states offering me a cold fake smile.

I shake as I fight the urge to strangle the man. “Okay. You know what? I have a year to agree. I have a year before I must fake my own death and never see you again. Yes. That is such a good plan, yes.”

“Running away is futile. I already agreed to Mother so I will do what she asks of me and find you again when she asks,” Illumi deadpans.

Why is it so hard to try and not kill him? He is literally a puppet listening to orders. Though, I do have an escape I can definitely use. I let out a sigh and scowl. I forget about that whole issue and focus on the mission at hand before going to someone who can help me.

“What’s the job?” I ask focusing on that.

He points a finger up as if he just remembers it. “Ah, it may be tricky. We are attending a funeral and I have to kill someone who is already expecting me. The issue with this is the target is a specialist that can feel when he is being targeted or followed and what the purpose is from the person’s aura.”

“It is a good thing I am here Illumi,” I say happily now.

He tilts his head like a lost puppy. “Why?”

“I happen to be a specialist as well. I will demonstrate one of my abilities before we go to the funeral. It will help make sure you’re not detected.”

~*~

“Must I wear this?” I frown as I look down at the tight silky black dress. We are going to a funeral, so I do not know why it looks like I am ready to go to a party.

Illumi nods. “Yes. Now, what is your ability?”

I smile ready to boast to someone about this. It will be the second time I have boasted about it since I never tell people my abilities, the exception being Feitan. I sigh. “Do you trust me?”

The emotionless man nods and I smile. “Good. Give me your hand.”

He holds it up for me and I take it placing it in my own but making sure it is palm up as if I were going to give him something. With my other hand, I make an okay sign, so my thumb and index finger are together and the three fingers apart, my hand making a makeshift bubble wand.

I activate my nen and focus the feeling into the empty space my thumb and finger make. Once I see a black space form I smile and aim my hand towards his palm. I blow gently and the black space turns into a bubble and floats gently out of my bubble wand and onto Illumi’s palm.

It pops and makes a black circle on his hand before disappearing into his skin. I look up to see Illumi looking at me with interest. “What do you feel now?” I ask.

“Nothing.” He frowns.

I smile brightly. “Show me your Nen at full strength.”

His eyebrows narrow down in confusion, but he does and when I see his aura, I smile wider. It is completely white. His usual aura is one of bloodlust so purple and black. He seems to understand. “I see. This does come in handy. You numbed my emotions completely so my aura will be numb.”

“Yes. My ability is called Fun Bubbles because I made up this technique when I was small and young, and I loved bubbles. I could make people feel a certain way with them. I simply focus on the emotion I want in the bubble and aim it at the person. Since you agreed to it, we made a small bond so the feeling should last for a few hours. If I did this without your agreement or knowledge it would have only lasted a few minutes up to half an hour,” I explain my ability.

He nods seeming impressed. “Yes, this did come in handy and it seems really reliable for scenarios like this. Besides the point, it is a stupid name.”

An arrow pierced my heart as I feel upset. Oh my god, he insulted the name. He is just like Feitan who insulted it as well! I grumble in a corner upset before he asks something, “Do you have more abilities like this?”

“Yes. As a specialist, I am able to build up my ability and find different powers. However, I have not used them unless I absolutely needed to,” I say honestly.

He nods. “Let’s go and get this over with.”

~*~

“It worked. Do you want me to send the money to your account?” Illumi asks changing into his normal clothes.

I nod doing the same. “Yes. Oh, Illumi. Thank you for taking me on this mission. I am afraid you will not see me for a long while.”

“Hm? Okay, and you’re welcome. We do make good partners,” He notes.

“Well, this is farewell…”

I quickly leave not wanting to hear him for I am making my great escape. I am going to a blimp so I can get the hell away from him and I do exactly that. An hour later I am already at the airport and need to figure out where I am going to go. Which of course I know who I am going to- Just need to figure out the where.

I sigh as I slip out my phone and click Feitan’s name. He answers in his cold voice within seconds, “What?”

“Is it a bad time? I need to talk to you about something important and crash somewhere for a few nights,” I say softly.

I hear a soft sigh. “No. I have a job in a week or two though so a few of the Troupe members will be here. I am at my temporary home in a large city named Eternal. It is pretty famous. I’ll send you the address when you get to the city.”

“Thank you! I owe you my life! I will try and be there as fast as I can! Bye love ya, Feitan Boo!” I shout into the phone before hanging up.

Well, I got a plan set.


	3. Cute Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes and sees Feitan only to meet the Troupe. Her and Chrollo have an instant connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Feitan seems cold to Reader in this chapter that is because he is. You see he's cold because he's in front of others but he'll eventually over come that.

How do I manage to get myself in terrible situations? To be honest- The cause could be I do not take care of myself. I have not slept in a full forty-eight hours. I am cranky as all hell and I just got off my ride an hour ago. I was supposed to be at Feitan’s right about now stuffing my face and sleeping on his bed but nope.

Life decided to throw a gang my way who think they are all that. I am irritated. I gave them two chances to let me go but they decided they do not want to listen to me and take their chances beating my ass. I am littered in bruises and down to the last straw. I suppose though- Maybe I wanted to feel something other than my situation or maybe I want to be annoyed enough to the point where I explode on these idiots.

“Okay fellas, I am going to give you one more chance before I take away your chances of reproduction,” I mutter out in a tone that would send anyone flying for the hills.

These guys just have cold sweat dropping off their foreheads. I scowl and look at them. “Are you really that stupid or just desperate to become a eunuch?”

“Shut… Shut up bitch!” The leader shouts trying to act manly.

I sigh and a knife appears in my hand. Oh no, not just any knife but one of Ben’s Knives. I believe mine was made after the hundredth victim. I shrug my shoulder and in one swift step and a few swings that probably looked like one, all the men were down on the ground holding the spot where their junk used to be.

I sigh and put my knife away. “Knowing inconsiderate assholes like you, you will probably be in shock and bleed to death. You should have let me go when I demanded.”

With that said I walk out of the alley into the dark streets of the night. From the look of it, I am in the rural part which explains why there is practically nobody out tonight. They must all be where the shops and entertainment are.

I sigh before I stop upon feeling something. I scowl. A person is using Zetsu. I frown and know immediately who it is. “Feitan you ass! Were you there that whole time?!”

He jumps off the roof and smirks at me. “I was curious to see what was taking you so long… You stayed there a long time letting them beat you up.”

“What can I say? I like it rough.” I wink at him and smirk.

His eyes widen before he adverts his gaze. I hear another thump, this time behind me, and frown. “You like what rough?” A deep but gentle voice asks.

My eyes widen and I blush as I turn around only to see a fairly attractive male with a cross tattoo on his forehead staring down at me. I gulp. “Ha… ha… you didn’t hear all of that did you?”

He smiles. “Saw and heard everything.”

I am an idiot. I smack myself in the face before I sigh. “Anyway, Fetain- Take me to your house, please. I am tired.”

“Yes. Feitan. Then when we get there you can explain who she is and what she wants,” The man states.

Feitan sighs but nods at the both of us. We walk in silence. The other male observing me the whole time, which of course leaves me on edge. It gets colder. It must be around midnight by now. I sigh however until we take a sharp turn and enter an abandoned road. We follow it for a good five minutes before we come across a rather large house.

It is gorgeous and completely noticeable. “Yo… Feitan. Not to tell you how to be a band of thieves, but why is your hideout so… Obvious?”

“It is not a hideout. It’s a temporary home under a fake name of mine,” He states.

I sweatdrop but… Whatever. I smile as I look at Feitan and he gives me a confused look. I make a run for the front door and slam it open, startling whoever is in the house. Immediately there is a sword at my neck. “Who the hell are you?!”

I scowl as I look at the man with a ponytail and I reply, “The real question is where the fuck is your goddamn manners?!”

“Nobunaga what is- Holy shit she’s hot!” A large muscular man states.

Feitan and the other man finally come into the house. Feitan murmurs, “Calm down. She is my idiot.”

“Eh?! I am not your idiot!” I grumble.

Feitan sighs and simply grabs the back of my shirt pulling me along into a large living room with three couches. I frown upon entering it and seeing a few more people. The other male who was with us sighs and orders, “Sit down everyone.”

They nod and do, including himself. Feitan keeps his tight grip on the back of my shirt and pulls me in front of him. “Alright. This is my childhood friend (Name), from all of our hometown, Meteor City. She is here for my help so do not harm her,” Feitan states.

The other man nods. “I am Chrollo the leader of the Phantom Troupe. The others here are Nobunaga, Uvogin, Phinks, Shalnark, and Pakunoda.”

I nod and bow down. “Nice to meet you.”

“Okay, what do you want?” Feitan asks.

“Can I tell you in private?”

He looks at Chrollo before frowning. “You can trust them.”

This makes me glare at him before I sigh. I just now realized how stupid my request is going to be. I scowl. “Remember how you said you would torture someone for me? Well, are you willing to torture a family of assassins? You know out of curiosity and stuff. It is a hypothetical question.”

His eyes twitch and before he can answer Chrollo smiles at me. “If it were hypothetical you wouldn’t have come all this way.”

“It depends. I am not catching them. If you can catch them go for it but if they had hurt you that is a different story,” Feitan states.

I sigh. “Alright, thanks for your time. I shall now go and drown myself in a lake.”

I turn to leave only to feel Feitan’s hand on my shoulder. He states, “If you seriously came all this way for nothing, I will torture the life out of you right now.”

My eyes widen and I nervously laugh. “Of… Of course, I did not! I told you I had something important to tell you… Well, it was the question but I did not come here all this way for “nothing”. I need a place to crash for a few days. I need to stabilize myself and figure out the next move so to say.”

Feitan lets go of me. “Why is being with you so frustrating?”

That sounds familiar… Oh, that is how I felt with Illumi. Phinks sighs as he turns to Feitan. “Feitan why do you associate yourself with her? She looks nothing but stupid and trouble.”

I fall to the floor at that comment and my soul leaves my body. That is before I am revived by Feitan’s comment, “She’s my childhood friend and the strongest woman I know.”

I am so grateful he is kind to me. Even though he threatens to murder me every now and then. I sigh as I feel Chrollo’s stare on me. He questions, “How so?”

I look at Feitan with my piercing glare in warning to not say anything. He gets the message immediately. “Sorry boss but it is not my place to say.”

Chrollo nods seeming to understand and drops the subject. I stand up receiving all attention from the members. “Feitan where is your room? I need to sleep. You heard that I have not slept in two days. If I go any longer, I will not hold back if someone pisses me off,” I state getting really grumpy.

Feitan nods and points his index finger upstairs. “Third-floor end of the hallway on the right.”

I nod and thank him. “If anyone tries to bother or wake me. Don’t.”

~*~

I wake up in annoyance. I had another nightmare. It is the same one I usually get from a few years back. I sigh. Well, it’s also a good reminder, I guess. A good reminder that I should not get close to people. I frown and sit up looking at a sleeping Feitan beside me.

He looks like he is going to fall off the bed. His legs are pushing into mine and his arms are dangling off. I smile as I stare at him. He is cute. It reminds me of when we were kids and would have sleepovers- Well, given our circumstances they were rather forced since we had to stick together or risk getting killed by someone who wanted our spot. Those sleepovers turned into me practically living with him and Estuko joined us shortly after that. 

Feitan and Etsuko were the only ones who tolerated me and actually came to care for me. Everyone else thought I was a burden, and I was. I still am. I frown as I silently apologize to Feitan for having to put with me. Even though I miss those terrifying days I am also grateful for these ones when Feitan shows he cares.

I get up and look at my phone on the dresser. It is two in the morning. I literally got less than two hours of sleep. Wonderful. I scowl and leave the room being careful to stay silent as I go to the kitchen. However, I am a little weirded out to see the living room light on and Chrollo on the couch.

He is sitting there reading a book, with a cup of coffee on the coffee table. I sigh and grab a glass of water before I go sit beside him. He glances up before returning to the book. We both remain silent for a few minutes before he breaks it.

“Why are you up?” He asks starting the conversation.

I scowl and sip on my water. “A nightmare. I am going to try and go back to sleep soon…. Why are you up?”

“A decent book… May I ask why Feitan thinks you’re strong?” Chrollo closes his book to show he is all ears.

I frown. “I will answer only if you tell me your abilities and your Nen type.”

Chrollo takes a moment to think about it. What comes out of his mouth next surprises me. “I am a Specialist. I can steal Nen abilities since I am a Skill Hunter.”

I am surprised because he literally just said the truth to me. “Why did you tell me?”

“You are not a threat to us and Feitan has a deep trust and bond with you which means you are dependable. If you are worried that I will steal your ability or something of that sort worry not, because I will not steal from Feitan’s friend,” Chrollo states.

He is making me feel… weird. I cannot explain it. I sigh as I place my cup on the coffee table and turn to sit by him crossing my legs. I wait for him to do the same and he does. Now that we are facing each other I hold eye contact. “Do you trust me?”

Chrollo nods and I hold my hand out. “Give me your hand.”

He does. I hold it so his palm is facing up. I quickly make my hand into the makeshift of a bubble wand and focus my energy into the hand. My nen appears making the hole black and I aim my hand at his palm and gently blow. The black bubble floats out of my hand and lands gently on his palm.

It pops and a black circle is on his skin before disappearing into it. I let go and he studies his hand for a moment. “How do you feel?” I ask. 

His eyes meet mine and hold fascination. “Focused.”

I nod. That is good. I smile. “That is just one of my abilities. I put what emotion I want in the bubble and you can feel it. Since you agreed to it and know of it the emotion will affect you for a few hours.”

“What’s the name of it?” He asks genuinely curious.

I narrow my eyes and scowl. “Fun Bubbles.”

Chrollo smiles at me and it is genuine. “That is cute.”

My heart flutters and my cheeks warm up at that. I quickly flush away my thoughts. “Thank you. I should go to bed. You should be able to finish that book before others wake up.”

I quickly leave and go back to Feitan’s room not waiting for a reply. That man is dangerous. Not in the normal way but in my way. He is dangerous for me. It is a good thing I had that nightmare to be a reminder.


	4. Spectator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is very good at denial and avoiding the problem instead of confronting. She becomes a spectator for the Hunter exam!

The next morning after getting much-needed sleep and wanting more, I, unfortunately, hear plotting voices and they are already pissing me off. 

“I am going to wake her up. The hottie has been sleeping for three days straight,” A loud booming voice states.

It is Uvo and I am already tired of his shit. Especially since he has the audacity to enter Feitan’s room despite my previous warning. I get up and glare at the man sending him flying to the floor in surprise. 

“Haha, it seems you did wake her up!” Shalnark laughs.

I get up and get ready for the day ignoring the idiots. I am lucky I have Feitan on my side since apparently, they tried to be perverts along with Phinks when I took a shower. Once I am done, I sigh feeling like a storm is headed my way if I do not figure out a move soon. 

Everyone headed downstairs. I grab my phone and once I reunite with them in the kitchen I look at it. That is when I noticed a text message… It is from Illumi. It is from two days ago and it is just to inform me that he and his father started the lessons. 

“WHY DO I CARE?!” I yell as I hit the closest person beside me which happened to be Uvo.

“OW! That bitch packs a hard punch!” He growls upset but also impressed.

Feitan sighs. “Why did you do that?”

“BECAUSE I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HOW HIS FUCKING LESSONS ARE GOING!” I shout with anger.

Every Troupe member is staring at me as if I were mental, except for Feitan, and Chrollo who just walked in. 

Feitan rubs his temples. “You know (Name). I do not understand what you say most of the time and it is even more irritating when you think I do.”

Another text pops up and I immediately feel much brighter. It is a notification from my favorite casino for when I get broke. An idea pops into my head and I smile. “Okay, you know what Feitan? You are right. I apologize for being a burden. I think I have stayed long enough. I am going to leave in a few minutes and go spend the rest of my life in a completely safe area where I will be safe and sound.”

“She has a few loose screws,” Nobunaga whispers to Phinks.

My eye twitches and I stare at Chrollo. “I would like to tell you that you are my favorite person here. Thank you for not being a total jerk and whatnot.”

His eyes widen for a brief second before he nods. Feitan does not even bother to say goodbye. “Alright, you know how to get a hold of me. Come back when you’re sane.”

I give him my middle finger and walk to the door. Chrollo walks right behind me and surprises me when he hands me a piece of paper. 

I ask, “What is this?”

“In case you want to get a hold of someone. You are interesting and I can tell you are strong. We could be pretty good allies, or you can join the Troupe eventually,” He explains his intentions.

I scowl and nod. “Thank you Chrollo.”

He just nods again before opening the door for me. Well, here is my new plan. Ruin my life at the casino until I have a new purpose in life, which I would prefer over not being with Illumi and his crazy mother since she made me paranoid.

Thus, began my journey to my favorite underground casino.

~*~

I groan as I hear my phone ring once again. I do not take my eyes off the screen as the slot machine screen keeps rolling. My eyes remained glued as I quickly answer my phone. “Hello?” 

“(Name)-san. It has been a while. I believe it has been a full year since the last Hunter’s Exam. It is the Head of the Hunter Association Netero. Do you have a mome-“

“YES, I WON! OH MY GOD, I WON BIG TIME!! TAKE THAT!” I screech as I flip off one of the casino workers who has been up my butt since I got here.

I retrieve all my coins and put them in my bucket I bought. “Sorry, Netero what do you want?” I ask now upset I am being consumed back into reality.

“Ah… You are a gambler? I did not know that. Anyway, please come down to the Hunter Examination this year. I want you to be a spectator so to say. I will explain when you come down,” He says basically demanding I come down there.

Before I give him a piece of my mind, I take notice of the employee I flipped off talking to the manager. Oh no. I hang up on Netero and quickly cash out all my coins. Thankfully, the guy there is fast with this and he gives me five hundred million jennies in exchange for the coins. My eyes have stars in them.

I hurry outside before I call back Netero who answers immediately, “Sorry old man. I was about to get in trouble back there. Now that I am ready and rich send me the address and I will be there.”

“Of course. I sent it to you. See you soon.”

I hang up and see the address. It is going to be under a restaurant it seems. I sigh before realizing Netero said something…. It has been a full year since my exam…. That means I have been here at this casino for literally like nine months…. Oh, my god. Am I crazy?

I quickly dial a number and Chrollo’s deep husky voice quickly answers, “(Name). It has been a few days since our last call. Are you alright?”

“How long have I been at this casino?” I ask.

Chrollo goes silent for a moment before he answers, “I believe ten months. Yes, ten months ago we saw you at Feitan’s house.”

My jaw drops. Well, that explains my many meltdowns and blackouts since I’ve been here. I lost a shit ton of money, got flat-out drunk, and of course my favorite: gained money. It was all in the name of avoiding a certain somebody and so far, it has worked beautifully.

I nod and tell him, “Okay well, surprise, I am leaving the casino. I am going to be a spectator for the Hunter Exam this year I believe and thought you should know.”

“Alright. Thank you (Name) for giving me an update…. Maybe we can plan something in the future?” Chrollo asks his voice sending shivers down my spine.

I am getting bad vibes here. Not from him no. From myself. I scowl. “Maybe. I have to go. Bye.”

I hang up before hearing a goodbye. Chrollo and I have been calling each other since I left Feitan’s. At first, I only called him to tell him I made it to the casino but then when my nightmare got more violent and I was in my room I checked in and could not sleep I would call him and he would answer even if I had rudely woken him up.

He has been there every time I called and he would call me to make sure I was not dead or something. I do not understand it but every time I hear his voice on the phone… My chest gets all warm. I scowl at the thought. I cannot think about him. I need to go.

~*~

I frown upon the old man in front of me. “You…. Want me to be a spectator for the whole exam? You want me to just sit around and watch them from a screen?” I am puzzled and disappointed.

Netero laughs as he says, “Yes and no. I want you to go with each examiner and just be an extra one. You know from last year’s exam that some of my choices in examiners could be… Rather difficult and stubborn so you will be the level-headed one.”

“I am level-headed? Are you crazy? Sir, you just witnessed over the phone I am a gambler. That is not really level-headed,” I state seriously confused with his logic.

He laughs again before trying to act cool. “You are just like me. That is what makes you level-headed. I am a gambler as well… How much money did you win? I bet it is a lot from how you killed my ear. That is enough evidence for me.”

This guy does not have particularly good logic. I sigh but nod. Fine. I will do it. I stand up and look at him. “The man eavesdropping is the first examiner, isn’t he?”

“See. Very perspective. Yes, you will go with him right now. The exam should be starting soon,” Netero muses.

“Ah, nice to meet you (Name). You are talented for noticing me. I am Satotz. Shall we go?” Satotz asks.

I nod and as we walk all I could think about was his delightful mustache. It is amazing. I sigh softly as I finally grow serious. “What is the test for Phase One?”

“Endurance.”

I scowl. Man, just my luck. I am going to have to focus all my energy and nen so I don't get fatigued. Satotz seems to know my feelings and chuckles, “You will do fine. The chairman does not have a spectator in the actual exam. This is the first time so we examiners have a lot of faith in you.”

I nod with a bit of determination now. “Alrighty I'm going to get a bit serious so I can be observant.”

Satotz nods understandingly and with that said we enter a door that leads to the underground passage where Phase one will begin. I look at my phone to see we have one minute before we must start. Once the minute is up, the wall goes up revealing at least four hundred or more applicants. 

I am going to go insane from knowing most of these people are stupid and ignorant. I scowl as Satotz talks, "Welcome. I am your Phase One Examiner, and this lady right next to me will be your second or third examiner each phase. Now-"

I do not really listen as I notice a few heated stares on me that automatically puts my guard up. I focus my energy to try and see who the hell is staring me down only to make eye contact with those golden eyes from a year ago... Hisoka.


	5. The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi done fucked up.

Since the exam started, I have been running beside Satotz who's honestly been creeping me out from how he runs. Either way, Hisoka's stare on me has not wavered once and the exam started I believe almost four hours ago.

If I am correct we should be heading out of the tunnel soon. It does not ease my nerves at all since I have no clue who the other people are that have been staring me down as well. It is rather annoying since it leaves me on edge.

By the time we make it outside, I figured out one of the others who were staring at me. It was a white-haired kid. I have seen him before... But where? I shrug. I am sure it will hit me soon. 

Satotz whispers into my ear, “(Name), will you do me the honors and stay in the middle of the crowd? I would like your watchful eye on ones that need our help.”

I smirk. Are you serious? I get to kill people off. Well… Test people really but if they die that simply means they were not meant to take the test… Whoa, I really do turn into Feitan sometimes. This is great. I let Satotz take the lead and within seconds we are off. The contestants stare at me warily, and who could blame them? Without knowing their soon-to-be terrible fate.

“Hey, we do not have to follow him. She is the other examiner so we can follow her, and she is much slower," A guy states seeming to be out of breath.

I shake my head.

As if reading my thoughts, the white-haired kid speaks surprising me, “Idiot.”

He motions his friend with green hair to move up, and a blonde-haired teen and an older doctor man move up as well. I smile at that. They can sense my blood lust since I am not really hiding it. Anyone else who has potential and can sense my nen moves up.

Once it is just the weaklings my fingers begin to twitch as I let out one long breath of air. The air around us now surrounding itself with bubbles. Small bubbles. The weaklings following me become confused, especially when they start hearing the ticking.

A laugh leaves my lips when the bubbles start popping, not hurting me in the slightest. Blood splatters everywhere, staining my clothing. I stop and stare at what my masterpiece has done. The Bomb Bubbles never fail to amuse me. It is rare when I use it. It does end up taking a lot of energy from me though.

I end up gasping for a little bit of air. The smile is wiped off my face once I hear a certain ticking. It is not like my bomb bubbles. It sounds like one of those wind-up toys. I turn around only to come face to face with a creep.

A gasp leaves my lips as I stare at the odd man. He slowly moves his arm, the ticking growing worse with movement and he pulls a needle from his head. Slowly, his face begins to change, freaking the fuck out of me. Once his face has fully transformed, I want to let out a true scream of horror.

Why the hell is Illumi here of all places? Real crocodile tears fall down my face as he says the dreaded words, “Wonderful performance. Oh. It has been a year (Name).”

~*~

“Stop following me,” I repeat again once we made it to the end of the sight. 

There are about ten minutes left. Illumi returned to his disguise, Gittarackur, as soon as I walked away from him after he said those words. Yet he still follows me as I walk up to a surprised Satotz. He is eyeing the dried blood on me.

“This guy is the only one who survived,” I point at Gittarackur.

Satotz nods. “You sure did get rid of a lot.”

With that said, we wait until there are about three minutes left. Hisoka shows up with that doctor guy on his shoulder and he stares me down seeming to be mad at me. What for? I have no fucking clue, nor do I care. A minute before the phase ends, Killua's friends show up.

Speaking of which, I remembered Killua as soon as I saw Illumi. I guess I must have tried to block out the whole marry me situation. I sweatdrop and look at the kid who stares right back at me from feeling my gaze. I offer him a smile and he just shrugs at me. Well, I guess that means I am okay in his book.

Satotz looks at me, “You should be helpful with the next phase since we have quite a difficult examiner in there. Good luck.”

He leaves.

I feel the stares of the examinees on me. I ignore them and enter the gate to the next phase, seeing two examiners immediately. I recognize them to be quite brutal, after all, they are Gourmet hunters. With silence, I take my place next to the green-haired girl on the couch, the much larger male sitting behind the couch.

She stares at me warily. “(Name), the spectator?”

I nod and she scowls. “Well, I'm Menchi and he's Buhara. Now that's out of the way excuse my attitude but we don't need you.”

Sensing a challenge, I remain seated to prove I am not going anywhere. She sighs and stands up to explain the challenge. Of course, it's a cooking challenge but I did not know the cheery examiner Buhara was sadistic enough to have pork be mandatory in the meal. It is no problem but the pigs in this area are deadly.

I can tell why Satotz wished me luck. This is going to be quite difficult.

~*~

It is taking all my willpower to not yell or murder Menchi. She has been grading them and we are halfway through and so far, the grades have just been fails. My patience is growing thin. Finally, it breaks when she yells, “No one passes!”

“That is unacceptable. I can't allow it. Some of them are trying really hard. Just because you have high expectations does not mean you can fail all of them. I mean, I can't cook for shit. Find something they can do,” I demand glaring at the other woman.

I can feel the bloodlust coming from Hisoka. If I do not do something, he will. Menchi glares back but stands up as well, once again challenging me, “You do not have a say. You are not an examiner.”

She really does want to test me. My eye twitches. Oh god, give me strength. I start laughing. How does Netero expect me to do this? Hearing my maniac laugh she puts up her Nen in defense.

I give her a deadly smile. “Oh, Honey. That would not help you. Now, this is what is going to happen. I will give you ten seconds to think about it. Then, five to give me the correct answer.”

I start counting. Her eyes widen once she realizes that I am dead serious. Once I say ten, I pick up a knife from the table by us and I swear I see her tremble. 

“Netero won't except this,” She states.

“That wasn't an answer.”

With a crazed look in my eye, she backs up and Buhara even moves to get out of my way. Right before I can throw the knife something falls in front of me. “A prune?” I ask out loud making many people sweatdrop.

“Hey! I may be old but come on (Name). I thought we were friends,” Netero says turning around.

My eyes widen. Oh wow. I was totally losing it. I sigh and he smiles and takes the knife away from me. “I heard from a birdie that we were having problems Menchi? Sorry to say but (Name) does have a say and I like her idea. Why don't you have them do something else?”

As if hearing the idea for the first time she agrees immediately. I am going to stab something soon.

Once the new challenge is over, Menchi falls onto the ground in front of everyone as she lays her arms towards me. “I would like to apologize for my behavior (Name)! I get profoundly serious when it comes to food,” Menchi bows down on the way making me sigh.

I help her up and smile at her. “You are forgiven. Just do not test me again. Next time Netero won't save you.”

We both laugh it off as the applicants stare at us as if we are crazy and to be fair, we are. The lovely Netero-san invites all of us onto his ship saying that he will ride us to the next challenge. I say lovely because that means I can sleep!

Right now, all of us examiners are in Netero's living room on the airship drinking. They are talking about something but all I care about is my booze and sleep. “Oh, before you go off to bed (Name), I would like to ask who do you favor the most?” Menchi asks eating her dinner.

Satotz speaks, “I like the rookies this year.”

“I mean they are way better than last year considering I am the only one who passed,” I murmur.

Menchi laughs, “Fair enough. I am favoring number 294, the ninja Hanzo!”

“I am partial to number 99,” Satotz answers.

99 is Killua. 

Menchi nods, “He looks like a selfish, spoiled brat though. What about you Buhara?”

“He isn't a rookie but the one I favor most is number 44. I am not sure you noticed but when you failed everyone it was really him who was on the verge of killing someone instead of (Name),” Buhara answers.

I shiver at the thought of Hisoka. 

Menchi nods. “That is why I am sure that is some of the reason why (Name) acted. I of course noticed. He could barely restrain himself from tearing off our heads. That is the real reason I was on edge the whole time though (Name). He was like that the moment we appeared. He kept challenging me.”

“I had a similar experience. He should be carefully monitored. I hate to admit it, but we are birds of a feather with him. However, his affinity for darkness is much stronger,” Satotz pauses.

Sensing a long discussion I quickly answer Menchi's question, “I think I favor number 405.”

“The honest kid?”

“Yes. I have been watching him but not with a wary eye. He seems to have a correct sense of judgment. I have faith in him. Now if you will excuse me.”

I quickly leave- Thinking over my choice. Gon is his name and he has something I wish I could have when I was his age. Hope and innocence. That is why I am choosing to favor him because out of everyone else here- He has a genuinely good side to him. As I leave, I run into two small people.

I look down to see the kids we were talking about with stolen food from the kitchen. They pale and I smile. “I will keep it a secret.”

Immediately 405 speaks, “You are (Name)? I'm Gon!”

I smile. “Nice to meet you. And nice to see you again Killua.”

“You know her?” Gon asks.

Killua nods. “Yeah, she's going to be my sister-in-law.”

“NO! I DIDN'T AGREE TO IT!”

“Mother said you will be so I assume you will be. If it makes you feel better, I think you are cool and I do not say that to anyone,” He murmurs looking away a bit embarrassed.

I laugh. “That did make me feel better. Thank you. I will be rooting for you guys. Now excuse me but I need to go sleep.”

The two cute kids bid me goodnight and I leave for my room. I become quite jolly once I enter the hallway where my room is only for my hope to be crushed when I am against the wall. 

“Fight me,” Hisoka's voice whispers into my ear.

I try so hard not to cry from the creepiness I feel. With a sigh, I am about to ask him to unhand me only to hear yet another voice, “Unhand my fiancée.”

GOD, NO! NO, OH GOD, PLEASE, NO! It just can’t be him again. I was going to avoid him as my life depends on it- Hisoka and I turn our heads to see 'Gittarakur'. Hisoka scowls and seems to grow awkwardly distant as he lets me go. 

Immediately Hisoka says, “Let us go to my room. I believe we need to talk.”

“What?! But my room! Is right there! and so is sleep!” I am dragged off to hell.

As soon as we are in Hisoka's room I am ready to bitch slap someone. I do not give a fuck anymore. Once they ruin my sleep, there is no turning back. Just as I raise my hand, arms wrap around my waist...

They stay there... What the hell? I crank my head back to look behind me only to meet Illumi's chin. When did he change from his disguise? 

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.

“Hugging raises your Serotonin levels,” he states like a robot.

I blink slowly... Is he trying to make me happier then? What the hell? I return my gaze to Hisoka who seems to be amused and understands that we are in fact not engaged. Speaking of which- “ILLUMI TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME. WE ARE NOT MARRIED AND WILL NOT BE MARRIED.”

“I have [the ring](http://www.frontjewelers.net/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/1800x/040ec09b1e35df139433887a97daa66f/1/8/1801.jpg) right here,” He states taking out a black small box and flipping it open with one hand.

My jaw drops. It is fucking gorgeous and obvious he spent a fortune on it. Too bad I cannot marry him because it just stole my heart away. I let out a sigh. “Please... Just drop it until after the Exam?”

Then I will make my great escape. Surprisingly, he puts it back and nods, “Alright.”

Once we are both silent Hisoka finally speaks, “We need to settle on a decision for a fight, (Name).”

I scowl. “That can wait until after the Exam as well.”

I shut them both down. Now it is just an awkward silence. Well, if they're not going to speak I'll show them who's the boss at the Quiet fucking Game.

~*~

Hisoka sweat drops upon seeing (Name) pass out in Illumi's arms. She is a charmer alright. He raises an eyebrow when he sees his companion bring back the box out and slip the beautiful engagement ring onto her left finger.

Immediately Hisoka is amused. “What did you do to the ring?”

“I got it handmade by the best craftsman in my hometown,” Illumi states making Hisoka sweatdrop at the answer.

“That is not what I meant. You put it on her when she is not awake. Does that mean she is not going to be able to take it off?”

“Correct. I will abide by her wishes about waiting to speak about this issue however, I want her to wear it. It has one of my Nen needles in it to ensure her safety.”

Hisoka raises an eyebrow again. “How so?”

“I am a Manipulator so my needle will allow me to find her easily. That is all. I do not want her upset with me. Mother said that won't be good,” Illumi answers.

Well, either way. Now it appears to others that (Name) is married.


	6. Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader may be on the verge of having a mental break down.

I feel cold air on my neck and that immediately wakes me up. I go to slap whoever did that only to have my wrist caught in the middle of the act. A chuckle comes out of their throat. “You are such a grumpy princess.”

My eyes open to glare at Hisoka. It appears that Illumi is gone. “We just landed. I believe you will be wanted to spectate soon.” He smirks.

I sit up, feeling drowsy and grumpy. I am upset. I go to rub my eyes only to scratch myself. What the...? I look down at my hand only for my heart to stop. No. No… He did not. My eyes are wide. Hisoka huffs, “That is not the reaction I was hoping for. I was looking for anger.”

He finds this funny. Well, anyone else would. I would as well if it were not for **him**. I take deep breaths. This is fine. Everything is fine. I am not breaking any promise or curse, so I am fine. I hope. I ignore Hisoka completely and leave emotionless. This is a problem...

I can only stare at the ring as the next phase goes on. It has been forever and I grow bored. I do not want to be here anymore. I just want to leave and deal with this problem. I tried taking it off multiple times, but it just will not budge.

Eventually, it becomes too much for me to even concentrate. The disturbing thoughts are already affecting me. Sensing my absent mind Netero speaks beside me, “The phase will be done soon. That means the rest of us will go ahead and leave to the hotel where the final Phase will be. We will have a week to prepare for the last phase as the examinees deal with their next phase.”

I nod. He frowns at my silence knowing something is off but does not push me on the matter, luckily. I am lost in my mind as we get on his airship and are taken to the last phase. The hotel. We start planning, me ignoring my own issue at hand and focusing on the task.

“A one-on-one battle? Okay, then all they have to do is get one win,” I state.

Netero raises an eyebrow as the other examiners make a face that shows they do not get it. 

Then Netero smiles. "I see. I like that. Okay. One win is all that is needed. Thank you (Name). All of you can go rest now. I will sort out the details to figure out who will fight who."

I get up and leave immediately. I take this time to go to my temporary room and call Chrollo. It does not even ring once and he picks up. “(Name)? How's the exam going?” He asks.

“Well. It is almost done.”

Silence. 

I can immediately detect worry in his voice, “What's wrong (Name)?”

“Nothing,” I reply softly.

He remains quiet for a bit expecting me to be imitated on the phone but of course, he lets out a sigh once I do not say anything again. “Would you like me to distract you from your thoughts?” He can read my mind, I think.

I nod not realizing that he cannot see me. He gets the message through my silence though. He starts speaking about the current book he is reading before talking about the group and eventually about himself. 

However, when that happens, he scares me yet again, “I miss you.”

I gulp. I wish I can say it back, but I can't. I get drowsy. That is a bad sign. I scowl feeling my lip tremble slightly. “(Name), I am going to hang up. I just want you to know I will always be here for you. Whether if it is for something small or big, I will be here,” He murmurs.

He is trying to make me feel better. I smile at the thought. “Thank you Chrollo.”

I hang up on him. I needed to hear that from him. With a frustrated sigh, I sit down on my bed and rub my temples. I do not know if I can sleep tonight. I do not want to think though. Disturbing images cross my mind. I do not want to think about it. I quickly call my best friend.

He answers and before he can say anything, I speak rather fast, “Feitan. Don't say a word but please stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep.”

Sensing the fear in my voice he does as I ask and does not say anything. I can hear his breathing and it is so soothing. I am so sad. I can't even tell my best and oldest friend my problem. When will I ever be able to tell him? We remain like that in a comfortable silence on the phone until I drift asleep.

~*~

I am woken up by a faint voice saying my name. I look around to see that it is completely dark except for the light on my phone. I quickly answer it realizing the voice is from my phone. “Are you awake (Name)?” Feitan asks.

“Yes.”

“Sorry for waking you. You were crying in your sleep... I won't ask but (Name) if someone hurt you, I will kill them,” He states.

I give out a weak chuckle. I wish I could tell him. “I can't say anything yet. I do not know when I can, but I am fine. Thank you Feitan.”

Sensing I'm about to hang up he quickly speaks, “September 1st. Yorknew. The Spider is going to meet. Please come.”

After he says that, he hangs up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Chrollo. I think he’s the best to comfort Reader. What do you guys think?


	7. Beyond Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cannot stress how much Illumi fucked up, Reader is about to confront him.

I stare grumpily at the people who come to the hotel. There are only nine contestants. I am happy to see that Gon and Killua made it. Their friends Kurapika and Leorio made it as well. Then I am not surprised as I see the rest Hisoka, Illumi, Hanzo, Pokkle, and Bodoro.

I lean against the wall farthest from all of them as Netero explains the phase. As soon as he takes the sheet off the board he made, I study it. My eyes widen though as I now understand what Menchi meant when she said Netero has a mean streak.

None of them are going to give up a win. Especially, Gon who is up against Hanzo. I already get chills as I know this fight will be bad. We all move to where the fights will take place. While the rest of the committee is huddled up in a corner around Netero, I stand behind Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio.

Hisoka glances at me briefly before watching Gon move up with Hanzo. I feel a bit nervous knowing Hanzo is overpowering. He hides it but I can tell easily. 

My eyes narrow down at the said man when he asks a guard, “Hey. So, the only way I win is if he surrenders? Like I can't knock him unconscious and if I kill him, I will be disqualified, correct?”

The guard or in this case, referee, nods. In a second Hanzo and Gon agree to start. Gon tries to put as much space as he can between him and Hanzo but it is in vain as Hanzo catches up to him, says something to him about speed, and hits him hard in the back of the head surely rattling his brain.

I can feel the pain just from looking at Gon. It is making me sick to my stomach as he tries desperately to see clearly again and Hanzo merely knocks his head again. I quickly become livid. Especially as the time continues as Gon stubbornly refuses to forfeit.

Eventually, three hours pass. I am shaking visibly making the applicants concerned. “Excuse me but… Why are you mad?” Kurapika whispers.

It is our first real talk. I whisper back, “Gon is only a kid. A stubborn kid at that. I do not see him giving up anytime soon and Hanzo is only going to get worse with his actions. I am disgusted. Especially since Gon is my favorite.”

Kurapika and Leorio are surprised at my words but nod feeling the same way. Killua ignores me as he is only focused on Gon and is highly irritated with him. I end up having to close my eyes when I see Hanzo pin Gon to the ground on his stomach and place his hands on Gon's shoulder and back.

I refuse to watch but I can hear the distinct sound of bone breaking. Kurapika and Leorio are barely containing their anger. “If you don't surrender now, I'll cut off your leg,” Hanzo states since Gon is back up and declaring his arm is fine.

Gon stares long and hard for a bit at Hanzo before demanding, “I don't want to surrender! Nor do I want my leg cut off! I will bleed out anyway and you will get disqualified. So, let us just figure out how to fight together!"

A smile breaks all the tension in my body as I see how honest his golden-brown eyes are. It is a bit ridiculous. He is like a little ray of sunshine compared to everyone else here. I am the first to burst out laughing making a few of the applicants eye me before others end up laughing in amusement as well. 

“What's so funny? The situation hasn't changed,” Killua asks a bit annoyed.

He is right and wrong. Gon swayed Hanzo. I knew I liked this kid for a reason. He is pretty admirable and impressive. I do not know how but this intense fight that made me so angry now filled me with rapture. It made me feel genuinely happy for this kid again. Hanzo ends up knocking Gon out- Giving up this round so Gon will not have to do another vicious fight with his broken arm.

The next fight fights happen in a decent amount of time:

Between Hisoka and Kurapika, it is a short and suspicious fight with Hisoka surrendering his win.

Then it is Hanzo and Pozzle to which Hanzo wins.

Hisoka and Borodoro and Hisoka wins.

Pozzle and Killua to which Killua surrenders.

Then it is Killua and Illumi...

I already do not like it one bit. I forgot about my personal problem until I saw Illumi's disguise move up to the empty space in the room with Killua following his example. I feel disgusted right now. Anger is slowly filling me. It worsens when Illumi messes with Killua's head. 

“Hey Kil... Long time no see,” Illumi says slowing removing the pins from his face to show his true form.

Killua surprises me when he shows fear on his face. He did not show that last time I saw him when I was with Illumi so why is he scared now? They chat among themselves about their family and the hunter exam. I close my eyes and listen to Illumi's cold voice as he lets out a fake chilled laugh, “Ha that is good. You have no need for a license yet. You have no need for wants. After all, you are a killer. A puppet-“

“That's not true! I want something!” Killua admits.

I open one eye and stare at the scene. Illumi is showing his bloodlust now with his aura. I do not understand why he is imitating his little brother so much like this. It is as if it is torture to him. “What is it you want?” Illumi tilts his head innocently.

Just as Illumi goes to provoke Killua, Killua shouts, “I want to be friends with Gon!”

What Illumi says next breaks my heart, “You do not have the right to make friends. You are a killer. You will end up killing them. You will go crazy wanting to kill them.”

Suddenly, the people around grow wary of me. I do not blame them. It is hard to control my anger now. Especially since I am already angry at Illumi for the ring. This is how he really treats his brother? I already thought the family was crazy, but I think he is going a bit too far and it's driving me crazy. Illumi glances in my direction sensing my bloodlust and Hisoka's on edge.

“Why don't you go cool off outside? We will call you back in after this phase ends,” Netero whispers to me.

He can sense the danger in me. I nod and leave rather fast. I go to the entrance of the hotel and wait outside the doors. The cool air does help me calm down. I do not know how long I stay out there, waiting for the phase ends. I get a clue that it is almost over when Killua leaves the hotel and almost passes me immediately.

“Hey, wait where are you going?” I ask catching his attention.

My blood feels like it almost turns to ice when we make eye contact. Whatever the hell happened, Illumi broke whatever will Killua had. He looks as if he is the puppet Illumi mentioned earlier. I am saddened by this.

Killua answers me, “Home. I killed someone.”

“Did you? Or was it Illumi?” I ask as I search his face for an answer.

He barely shakes. That is my answer. I am beyond pissed now. I nod and ask another question, “Are you being forced to go home?”

Killua does not give a direct answer. Instead, he leaves with hesitance. My anger cannot be expressed in words.

~*~

“We're done,” Menchi states.

I nod my head and she escorts me to the room where the fighting took place. Everyone seems to be waiting for my arrival. 

Once Netero sees me he starts to speak, “Now that everyone and every examiner is here, I can begin. This concludes the 287th Hunter exam. Congratulations to the seven of you who passed. You will be allowed to roam the hotel tonight as the orientation to the beginning of your hunter license starts tomorrow. No fights will take place in the hotel and no graduates are to leave the hotel until orientation is over. Your rooms are on the fifth and sixth floor.”

As soon as Netero nods his head to the new hunters, they disperse to go explore or to go rest in their own beds tonight. I long to do that but I feel a threatening stare. I put a fake smile on my face as I make eye contact with Hisoka. He keeps eye contact for a few seconds before I flip him off and leave.

I go straight to the front desk and get my room key assigned to me- My room being moved when the contestants arrived here. I scurry to the sixth-floor last room on the right and open my door to see a neat room. I still can’t believe this hotel is better than cheap places I sleep at. I take a shower to calm my thoughts.

When I come out, my phone rings. I quickly answer it, “ _Hey I'm just checking on you._ ”

“Thanks, Chrollo. The exam just ended. I should be able to leave tomorrow,” I state.

Before he can say anything more, someone knocks on my door. “Give me a few seconds Chrollo,” I say softly as I answer the door.

I hear Chrollo's breathing on the other end. However, I could care less now. My anger is refueled. I drop my phone, one hand turning into a fist, the other slapping Illumi's cheek with all my strength. His head manages to turn the way I slapped him, and a bruise immediately forms.

Illumi has a scowl on his face. He lets out a soft sigh before picking up my phone and saying softly to me, “I have angered you.”

I reach for my phone only for him to hang up and toss it on my bed. He pushes me gently into my room and I growl out, “I am beyond angry, Illumi.”


	8. Hisoka Loses?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka finally gets the duel he wants.

“Father said we should talk about our emotions before getting physical,” Illumi states putting his finger up as if he remembered.

I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. When I open them he is staring at me confused. That is until I speak. “Putting a ring I can't take off my finger is one thing. Making your brother kill when he doesn’t want to is a whole other story! How could you do that to him?! It is obvious he does not want to follow your line of work, yet you make him! You control him like you are his master!”

He smiles that hollow smile of his. “I trained him well then.”

“Illumi. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Do you even love him? He is your baby brother! Scratch that, can you even harbor emotions like love?!” I screech making him raise an eyebrow.

He nods his head and answers, “Yes. I can. I love him. Everything I do is because I care about my family. Everything I do for Killua is because I love him and want him to be successful for the family.”

A heavy sob escapes my mouth. I go to cover it. I did not even notice I started to cry. This is embarrassing. I am so upset and sad for Killua, I am crying. “That’s not normal love. It is all for your family. You are so possessive over him that you can’t even let him think,” I rub my eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing.

I feel his hand grab mine that is rubbing my eyes, gently. Confusion wraps around my mind before I feel a cold finger wipe away a tear from under my eye. I glance at Illumi to see him staring at me with actual concern. It muddles my thinking.

“Illumi?” I ask softly.

He sighs. “I didn’t mean to anger or sadden you so. You are correct. I can’t harbor emotions such as love but I am trying.”

He is holding the hand with the ring on it. His slender long fingers slide up my hand to hold my wrist. “Forgive me,” He softly murmurs his face close to mine.

My heart is beating fast; it hurts. I shake my head and pull away from him, sitting on my bed. I collect my thoughts and emotions and look at him.

“I am sorry Illumi. It is not my place to say what happens with your brother. Though if he ever comes to me for help, I will help him. Be sure to tell him that for me. You owe me that much,” I say exhaustion in my voice.

Illumi nods and for once he seems genuine that he will pass on my words. Before he can take a step towards me, I speak again, “Illumi. Even if I wanted to, I can’t marry you. So, please… Please take the ring off.”

Illumi’s face looks puzzled before it turns emotionless, “What do you mean you can’t? Explain it to me. Explain it to me and I’ll take it off.”

“I can’t explain it,” I murmur sadly.

He nods and turns his back to me ready to leave. Before he does, he speaks, “Since you will not explain it to me I will take it off in a few months. In that time just think about marriage. Surely it can’t be that bad as you think.”

He leaves before I can protest. Tears fill my eyes. He does not get it. Of course, no one would get it. My curse. I laugh bitterly as I finally acknowledge my phone that has been ringing. I do not answer it. I turn it off.

~*~

“That concludes the orientation,” Netero states.

Everyone gets up to leave. I keep my eyes on Gon. He woke up before the orientation started and managed to break Illumi’s arm without making it obvious. He is angry just like I was.

Netero nods at me giving me permission to leave. I do, following Gon. Kurapika and Leorio quickly notice and nudge Gon. Gon turns and smiles at me. “Hi (Name)!”

“I am glad that you are up and about. I just wanted to congratulate you personally,” I say with a smile.

That is before my smile turns into a frown. “What are your plans now?”

Gon scowls but answers me without hesitation, “I am going to rescue Killua.”

“I would go with you but I am afraid I can’t. Give him my regards,” I smile as I pat Gon on the head and leave waving at Leorio and Kurapika.

They wave back at me. I continue walking until I feel Hisoka’s aura filled with bloodlust. He has been waiting for me. I sigh as I see him come out from behind a tree with a smirk plastered on his face. I am not surprised at all.

“I have my hunter license. I am ready for our fight… Are you?” He asks eyeing me up and down.

He holds out his hand. I take it with a nod and reply, “I am. A promise is a promise. I just hope you are prepared for what you want.”

I feel him shiver. He is probably in his pervert heaven right now. Once we have walked for about an hour, I find we are in a clearing. I glance at him and ask, “I am assuming we are allowed to go all out, correct?”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way,” He answers with a smirk.

Hisoka lets go of my hand and I stop walking. He walks a few feet away from me before he stares me down. I shake my head. He is an idiot. He seems to be analyzing my movement but what he does not realize is I already made a move.

Hisoka quickly hears the ticking sound and backs up right as my Bomb Bubbles go off. Immediately, I feel about ten or so cards come my way at an incredible speed. I hurry and suppress my nen focusing on the cards at hand. This lets me successfully block it.

I quickly put Ten back up and move at a fast pace to where I am face to face with Hisoka. Our fight starts to look like a dance as he blocks my attacks. My hands are in one large bubble making it look like I am using Ko.

However, that is not the case. The bubbles contain something malicious in them. If they make contact with his skin, it will feel and look like I had stabbed him a million times in the area I hit. I do not know how many hits I will need to take him out.

I feel my hand graze his face slightly and I see his eyes widen. He feels the pain. I think he understands my intent now. He backs off and throws a few more cards at me. I lessen the space between us once again.

Before he can back up, or make a defensive move, I make contact with his face and chest. At the same time, his hand comes up with a card in between his fingers and cuts my cheek. I do not care. I do not even feel it.

I can only watch his eyes widen at the pain my nen bubbles did to him. His face is bruised and there are a few cuts, but his chest is bleeding heavily. I scowl. If I continue, he will be dead. I oddly enough do not want to kill this pervert.

He seems to be shocked as to what happened. I wait a few seconds to see if he gets up and when he does not, I turn to leave.

“Wait! What was that? Are all your powers like that?” He asks his voice wanting to know as his eyes hold curiosity.

I do not give him an answer. “You were too soon to challenge me when you do not even know anything about me.”

With that answer, I leave feeling him stare at my fleeing figure.


	9. The Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader tries her best to come clean to the Phantom Troupe on why she can't get married. She takes a drastic measure to get rid of her finger.

“Feitan, where are you?” I ask- Yearning to be in his familiar presence.

He answers in his voice cold as always, “If it is important, I will meet you in at that same house in Eternal.”

“It is important. Nothing like the last time, I promise,” I say my voice practically a whisper.

He does not say anything, but his silence tells me he understands that I am serious. “I will be there within the week,” I tell him getting ready to hang up.

He mutters and okay before I do hang up. I sigh as I make my way to the airport.

~*~

I enter the lobby of the airport with no belongings. I have all of them in one of my storing bubbles. I think it is finally time I tell Feitan of the trouble I am in. I glance down at my gloved hands, hiding the ring inside.

Just as I am about to leave, I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around confused only for a small smile to reach my face as butterflies enter my stomach. A question leaves my mouth, “What are you doing here Chrollo?”

“Feitan said you were coming. I told him I would escort you back to the house,” He replies.

I nod and we start walking out of the building in silence. The air grows tense as he asks me a question, “What happened? It sounded like you were in a fight during our last call.”

“I will explain at Feitan’s," I mumble.

Chrollo nods and does not push me- Sensing my brooding thoughts. It takes a while to get there as we walk in silence. When we see the house, I can feel the fear build up in my gut. It is making me anxious. I might finally be coming clean about my curse.

I do not know if I can say it, but I am going to try. I will try because I am finally desperate enough.

Chrollo opens the door for me and I enter it thanking him. I look around before heading to the living room. A few people are there, seeming to be waiting. I remember Phinks, Shalnark, and Uvo, from before but there are two new faces. A female with pink hair and a male with long stretchy ears and scars littering his face.

Chrollo pushes me gently forward and the others finally take notice of us. “(Name)!” Shalnark says happily before hugging me.

I laugh as I return his hug. Phinks hugs me next, going a little bit too far down south with his hands before he is pulled away from Uvo who lifts me up into the air. I laugh as I am put down. “I am surprised you guys actually missed me!” I admit.

“They were rather persistent on wanting to know more about you. It was annoying,” Feitan states.

I laugh and Chrollo speaks up, “(Name), these two are Machi and Franklin.”

I nod my head and bow down to show my respect. “Nice to meet you!”

They nod and mumble back a few words. Once my eyes land on Feitan again, my body moves on its own and I am hugging him tightly. He is taken back by surprise. I know this because he does not move for a few seconds.

Once I feel his arms wrap around me in return, I feel myself let out a sniffle, alarming him and the Troupe. All eyes are on me since they sense my need to cry. Tears are wetting his clothing and I clutch onto him tighter.

“What the hell happened?” Feitan asks, now ready to kill someone.

I pull myself away from him and wipe at my eyes. A shaky breath leaves my lips as I murmur, “I do not think I can actually say it. I can try to explain it, but I might get hurt in the process.”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

His eyes hold anger in them. I sit down as he remains standing. Chrollo sits down beside me for support. I really do not know how I am going to tell him. If I cross a certain line I could pass out or possibly die. I have not tested it before.

“I… Got in trouble a few years back,” I start off trying to think of the boundary.

All the Troupe here is silent. They are waiting for me. They can sense how dangerous the situation I am in is. I lick my lips before I continue, “I was on a mission for this guy… He seemed normal but… He got a bit too friendly towards the end. He-“

I gasp in for air as I clutch my heart. It hurts now whenever it beats. I see. This is the line. “I can’t say more about that,” I gasp out.

“A curse?” Chrollo asks studying my movements.

I nod my head and he speaks clearly, “Okay that makes more sense. Do not give us details at all. We’ll ask questions and you can say yes or no.”

Feitan understands some of it now. My life is literally on the line if I speak more than what I am meant to. “This guy… He seemed normal…. Was he bad?” Uvo asks the questions.

“Yes.”

They nod seeing that it worked. Feitan speaks next, “Did he place the curse on you?”

“Yes.”

Chrollo questions me, “Can we find him?”

“No.”

Once the beating of my heart stops hurting, I take in a deep breath. “I-I can’t. We can talk about that another time. I got myself into more trouble recently. Do you remember when I asked you to kill a family of assassins?” I ask changing the subject, so I will not have to feel that pain again.

Feitan nods and I continue, “I was forced into an engagement. Because of the curse, I cannot allow it to continue. If it does, he will die, or I will die.”

I take off my gloves and show the engagement ring. Phinks whistles at the sight of it, “That boy must love you.”

“I need you to cut my finger off. He did something to the ring so nobody but him can take it off. He is a Manipulator so I believe it is a tracking device for me,” I state placing my hand on the table.

Uvo scowls as he asks, “You came all this way here to get a finger off? Why didn’t you do it?”

“I can’t harm myself intentionally,” I murmur.

Chrollo glances at me. “It is the curse again. Right?”

I nod my head, yes, and Chrollo scowls. Machi the girl finally speaks, “You came to the right place then (Name). I am a Transmuter. When you can get the ring off, I can put your finger back to your hand like it never came off.”

She is completely serious. She has a cold demeanor, but I trust her. Before I can reply to that I hear a knock at the door. Shalnark answers it and to my surprise, Hisoka is fucking here.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” I do not even try to hide my disdain for him.

Feitan narrows his eyes down. He does not like how we know each other. I can also feel Chrollo's threatening gaze on Hisoka from hearing my outburst. “He is a Troupe member,” Shalnark answers.

His face is still bruised. I can tell his chest still hurts by the way he is standing. He is protecting it. “Well, I guess this is a surprise. I am surprised you know the Spider,” Hisoka states amused by me.

I retort back, “I am surprised you are not dead.”

The Troupe members are confused. Feitan grabs my hand and gives me a questioning look. “It is nothing. I just almost killed him in a duel a week ago before I got to the airport. Oh… He did not bother to stop the asshole who put the ring on me either,” I say with a smile that could kill.

Feitan now understands and is beyond pissed. I call bullshit as well. There is no way he is part of the Spider. As the thought goes through me, I almost want to kill him on the spot. I do not want him to endanger my new Spider friends.

I ignore Hisoka as I give Feitan my hand with the ring on it. “Will you do it?” I ask.

“Sure. Are you going to soothe yourself?” He asks referring to my Fun Bubbles.

I shake my head no but ask, “Do you have painkillers for after?”

“What the fuck? You are so weird,” Phinks states confused at my order of painful business.

Machi speaks, “You should probably store your finger somewhere cold until you can get the ring off.”

I nod. My heart is beating fast as I place my hand on the table. Hisoka actually looks concerned for a brief moment before he smirks at what I am doing. I look for solace somewhere until I meet Chrollo’s eyes.

“Ready?” Feitan asks.

He knows I am. He counts from three but before he gets to one, I feel the sharp pain and throbbing as he cuts my left ring finger off. It burns as blood oozes onto the table. I finally look away from Chrollo to examine the mess on the table.

Feitan wraps a towel around my hand to suppress the bleeding. I pull away for a moment to quickly grab my finger and trace a circle into the floorboard.

“Bubble Storage,” I whisper as an opening in the floorboards appears.

I motion Machi over. “Is this cold enough?”

She sticks her hand inside the bubble. She nods at me and I drop the finger in it. “Lock and Close,” I demand.

Feitan sighs seeing the bubble storage disappear. “Does this mean I am going to have to find another home?”

“Yes. He might come here to examine the place if he realizes that I have been here too long,” I state standing up.

Feitan hands me a bottle of painkillers and I pop quite a few into my mouth. “Will he be able to find it?” Chrollo asks.

“No. It will stay here until I demand the bubble to come to me,” I say feeling quite tired.

Feitan sighs. “We will look for a new hideout home tomorrow. Are you staying with us for a while?”

Before I can answer him, I get a text… from Killua. I read it immediately.

_From: Killua  
_

_To: (Name)_

_Sorry for scaring you back at the hotel. Gon came and got me. I feel better. I know you’re strong and Illumi mentioned you would help me if need be. Will you go to Heaven’s Arena to help Gon and me?_

“I will stay the night. I am afraid I have to go to Heaven’s Arena for a bit,” I state.

Hisoka smirks and his voice gets to me a bit too much. “What a coincidence. I have to go there too.”


	10. Worth the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Chrollo have a moment.
> 
> Hisoka tries to have a moment with Reader. Key word: Tries

I am still awake. Feitan is snoring softly beside me. I get up being careful not to wake him. I go downstairs and to my surprise, Chrollo is down there again except this time it seems as if he was waiting for me.

All the other members are asleep. I go and sit beside him. This makes him content.

His hand grabs mine that has bandages. He sighs and shakes his head pointing out, “You need to be more careful. It already bled through. You could get an infection. Are you feeling any pain?”

He is removing the bandages and replaces them with new ones. I shake my head and give him a smile. “Nope. I am high as a kite right now.”

He does not say anything to that. Instead, Chrollo holds my hand once he is done bandaging it. I get that funny feeling in my gut and quickly pull my hand away. I regret it immediately since I yearn for his contact.

“Let me guess. The curse doesn’t allow you to get close to others?” He asks.

I nod my head. In a shaky breath, I reply, “I want to. I really do but I can’t.”

Chrollo scowls. I lay back on the couch and lay my legs across his lap. It is not ideal but it is contact. He takes it. He places a hand on my ankle.

He speaks softly, “The fight from the last time we talked was with the guy who intends to marry you, was it not? Do you know why he wants to marry you?”

“It was and yes. His mother thinks I would be a benefit to the family and expects us to have babies to raise as assassins,” I answer back just as soft.

His grip unintentionally tightens on my ankle. My heart is throbbing with slight pain, but I think it may be worth it. He makes eye contact with me as he asks, “…Did he harm you?”

“Actually, I hit him. I had so much anger towards him that I lost control for a moment and left you hanging,” I say with a slight chuckle.

Chrollo seems satisfied with my reply. “Hisoka… you guys seem to have a weird relationship,” Chrollo comments.

My mood sours. “Yeah. I thought he was cool until he let the bastard put a ring on me. I have respect for him but he is annoying,” I admit softly.

Chrollo nods and asks, “You said you almost killed him. I assume you won the duel?”

I nod my head yes. A hint of a smile forms on his face. I can tell he has more questions but for my sake, he holds back asking them. We remain in a comfortable silence until I fall asleep.

~*~

“I’m going to kiss her,” A voice whispers.

Someone scoffs, “Why? You want to die?”

“She won’t be able to lay a hand on me. Besides, she is so cute and maybe it will break the curse if it does not... it was worth it. She is hot! Boss, you don’t care do you?”

Chrollo does not say a word to his stupidity. I assume he knows I am awake. As soon as I feel a breath fan over my face, I open my eyes and my good hand reacts and I punch the culprit in the nose.

“OW! FUCKING HELL! YOU JUST BROKE MY NOSE!” Phinks shouts as he holds his bloodied nose.

There are a few snickers around the room and Shalnark is smiling like a little kid as he says, “Serves you right, Phinks. No one like a pervert.”

I only let out a yawn and take some painkillers. In a few seconds, Feitan is checking out my hand. He seems annoyed since the blood has already seeped through yet again. He is gentle as he undoes it and puts on new bandages.

“You need to keep putting clean bandages on it for the next few days. It should eventually stop bleeding, but it may continue to hurt over a long period of time until Machi is able to put it back on,” Feitan explains.

I nod and tense up from feeling a glare on us. Hisoka is glaring at the close proximity of Feitan and I. I only glare back in annoyance. Feitan ignores the glaring contest and asks, “What are you planning to do after Heaven’s Arena?”

“I will take on a job. I have a few clients who are in desperate need and are willing to pay a lot. Don’t worry I am still going to meet you guys at Yorknew,” I admit.

I end up leaving within the hour. The Troupe and I said goodbye like we normally do. Despite the constant worry I feel, it is as if coming clean to them lifted the burden from my shoulders. I am grateful I was able to confide in them.

However, now I am stuck with Hisoka. As if he can read my thoughts, he sends a smirk my way. I groan and ask, “Why’d you insist we travel together?”

“Well, I have to go there for a little challenge with two kiddies. I assume you are headed there for them as well,” He admits with a sick smile.

I stop in my tracks and ask, “Please dear god, tell me you are not a pedo. Are you?”

“I’m offended you think that lowly of me,” Hisoka chuckles sending shivers down my spine.

He slowly walks up to me while I stay there not moving. He is trying to intimidate me. He picks up a strand of hair and answers, “I am not. I am attracted to powerful people. Tell me, you were the spectator. Didn’t you notice how strong they were? I want Gon to grow to his full potential so I can crush him.”

“I see. That makes sense on why you are so creepy and why you were so desperate to duel with me. Since I won, does that mean you are still attracted to me?” I ask with hesitance.

He does not answer at first. Instead, he seems to be lost in thought. My stomach churns when his gaze locks with mine. A small smirk forms on his face. He seems to nod as he answers, “Yes. However, I think if I did win, I would still be attracted to you.”

~*~

We make it to Heaven’s Arena. Killua told me it will take a week before they get here. In the meantime, Hisoka and I entered the arena and made it quickly up to the 200th floor within the first two days. I did my first fight with a man named Sadaso. I won within the first few minutes surprising him and the crowd.

After that fight, I decided to take it easy and wait before I do another fight. I am after all only here for Killua and Gon.

“Hey. Yeah, we made it okay,” I answer Chrollo’s call.

Hisoka’s eyebrow raises and he smirks before calling out loud for me, “Come back to bed (Name).”

“Oh my god. Ignore that. He is being a jackass. I can assure you we have different rooms, but he prefers bothering the shit out of me,” I quickly explain.

Chrollo lets out a chuckle before his soothing voice says, “ _You don’t need to explain. Please keep me updated. I’ll call you later._ ”

I hang up and Hisoka lets out a scoff. Annoyed I ask, “What?”

“It’s obvious you two have a thing for each other. Well not obvious with the Troupe but right now and here it is obvious. I’m surprised is all,” Hisoka states with a scowl.

I can’t say anything to that because I do not know what to say. I have not even admitted to myself the feelings I have. I will not be able for a long time. As of now, it is easier to deny anything. I am just content with the current relationship between Chrollo and me. 

“You said I was too soon to challenge you. I am afraid you are going to be stuck with me for a bit. I wish to learn more about you so I may challenge you again,” Hisoka states.

He is serious. There is no amusement on his face. The smile he has plastered on was his word. I am okay with that despite how weird he is.


	11. "Step on Me."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader realizes she has feelings for Chrollo and wants to return back to her prior self before she met him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka is being Hisoka so vulgar actions on his part.

“Hisoka, just what do you think you’re doing?” I ask as I enter my room from my bathroom.

I am not surprised he is in here yet again. However, I am surprised he has a pair of my dirty clothing in his hand and close to his nose. All he does is smile at me and says absolutely nothing.

I swear this male is getting on my last fucking nerve. Thankfully, Gon and Killua will be here today. I was going to meet them after their first few fights so I can get the hell out of here and far away from the pervy clown sniffing my undergarments.

When I realize that is what he has in his hands I go livid. My vision turns red and the next thing I am aware of is the man is on the ground, hopefully dead. I hear him I think choking for breath, so I know I failed in killing him.

“(Name), there is no need to be so shy. You have wonderful choices in underwear,” The clown manages to purr out.

A fire ignites my body. I step on his chest with the heel of my foot and hard, adding my Ko into the equations so it feels like bricks are laying on him. I thought it would get the message across… but it did not. Nope, I hear him let out a loud moan. I believe it traumatized me.

“Step on me more, (Name),” He breathes out.

That is the fastest I have ever stopped using my deadly aura on someone and I am a mercenary. I am off him in split second and on my phone. Hisoka is stuck to the floor in bliss I believe.

“(Name)? Is everything okay?” Chrollo asks.

I shriek into the phone as I reply, “Wrong person! I called the wrong person! Send help! I have been traumatized! Where is Feitan?!”

It is completely silent until I hear multiple voices. Chrollo puts it on speaker, “Feitan, it’s (Name).”

“HELP ME! I THINK I UNLOCKED A SECRET LEVEL WITH HISOKA!” I scream.

I hear Nobunaga and Uvogin in the background wondering what the fuck is going on. “Did you lose your marbles again?”

“Hold on… He is saying something,” I pause and listen to Hisoka.

My eyes widen as I murmur, “I did not lose my marbles I lost my last nerve! What do you do if you unlocked the creepiest level of Hisoka?! He keeps saying ‘Step on me’. What does that even mean?!”

“It means he wants you to dominate him. Wai… Wait, is he moaning?! What the hell did you do to him (Name)?! Can you do it to me?” Uvo answers me before ruining me further.

Before anything, I ask the most important question, “Uvo… how do you know that it means that?”

“…” Complete silence on the other side.

Nobunaga starts laughing on the other side. That is great. I do not get an answer. I am about to beg when I feel something wet and warm touch my ear. My blood freezes and my heart stops.

“DID YOU JUST FUCKING LICK ME, HISOKA?!”

Again, it is dead silent as I turn to face a smirking Hisoka. He appears to be non-aroused now thankfully. I think he is fucking around with me just for the fun of it now.

“Yes. She tastes splendid by the way,” He states for the others to hear.

Once more, silence on the other end. I am slightly panicking. “Guys? Please tell me you are still there, since I am still technically in a state of emergency,” I murmur with crocodile tears threatening to come down my face.

Hisoka grabs my phone and forces a moan into it before he says, “Just so you know, she chooses the cutest underwear.”

…Did he just say that…? To my new friends and my protective old friend? My face is red with anger and embarrassment all over again. It worsens when Uvo finally breaks the silence, “What kind of underwear does she wear?”

I hear a thud and silence once more. I am assuming he got in the head. “Well, if no one has anything to say I think (Name) should say goodbye. We are off to go have fun now.~ Who knows what we will do,” Hisoka murmurs.

It dawns on me that he is doing this to piss off either Feitan or Chrollo. I reach for my phone only for Hisoka to hang up and pocket the phone into his weird pants. “What the hell?! Give me back my phone!” I demand.

Hisoka just smiles and shakes his head. “I will give it back to you later. Don’t you have to go say hello to the kiddies?” He asks.

“Seriously?! I need my phone to text them to see where they are at! AND STOP USING THE WORD KIDDIES!” I state while glaring at the man.

He shakes his head no and heads for the door while saying, “No you don’t. There are lists of applicants downstairs. You can find them that way. I will give you back your phone when I learn more about you tonight. Deal?”

I flip him off since he is not giving me a choice. He simply hums with amusement and leaves me alone. I do the first girlish thing that I have never done before. I scream into a pillow, because of an immature male’s actions.

Once I get my cool back, I go on the search for Killua and Gon.

~*~

“It is nice to see you both again. How have you been?” I ask with a tired smile.

Gon smiles happily back at me. “We’ve been good, how about you (Name)?”

However, Killua hits Gon on the head and I am confused at first until I see where they are staring at. I grimace at the thought, but I pull my left hand up to where the ring finger used to be. I glance at the bandages and see it is actually clean for once. I guess having Hisoka here did help since he changed my bandages for me.

“Wow, I knew you didn’t want to marry him but was there really no other way?” Killua asks.

Gon is confused before it seems to dawn on him that I was supposed to get married to Illumi. I smile a sad smile as I say, “There was no other way. I have things to do and getting married is one thing I can’t do.”

“Even if you wanted to?” Killua asks with concern.

I nod my head yes and quickly change the subject, “Ignoring that! I see you guys are progressing floors rather quickly. I do not see a need to train you yet. When you make it to the 200th floor then we will talk about training… but why did you ask me to train you?”

“You are strong. My mom likes you; you are from Meteor City so I figured you would have a few tricks up your sleeve,” Killua states with honesty.

I laugh as I look at Gon. He speaks up, “Well, I don’t know much about you, but I can tell you’re really strong. I need to train in order to give Hisoka this back.”

He shows me a number badge that was Hisoka’s. My heart stops. Dear Lord, he is in trouble. With fake tears in my eyes, I vow to them I will train with them, so he won’t die by Hisoka’s hands, which is unlikely since Hisoka wants him to grow.

“I expect to see you on the 200th floor in a week. That is my first and only demand as your trainer. I know you have no idea what Nen is, so go look into that further,” I state confusing the boys.

They only nod to signal that they understand what they need to do.

~*~

“Why am I in your room now?” I ask with a pout.

Hisoka just smiles and pulls my phone from his pants. I need to sanitize my phone now. “Let’s get to know each other,” Hisoka says solemnly.

Ah, it must be serious about this so he can challenge me again in the future. I sigh and lay on his bed before asking, “Fine. Let us get this over with. What do you want to know?”

“How do you know Feitan?” Hisoka lays beside me on the bed before he questions.

I scowl with my answer, “Meteor City. We grew up together.”

“Yet you didn’t know any of the Troupe members?” He says sounding confused.

A sigh leaves me as I answer, “I didn’t know them. I only hung out with Feitan and my other friend, Etsuko. When I wasn’t with them, I was out doing jobs so I can eat something for the night.”

He knows that these questions are bothering me. Thankfully, he stops with the personal past questions for now. Instead, he asks, “Can I ask about your curse? I got the gist of it from Phinks but I don’t know most of it since I got there afterward.”

Ah, does he want to see me in pain? I nod my head yes with hesitation.

“I am aware it’s a bad man that cursed you… Do you know why he cursed you?” He asks.

I shake my head yes.

“If you did not have this curse, would you have married Illumi? If he gave you the option without anyone forcing you into it?” Hisoka asks this time surprising me since it was not curse-related. It was personal.

I think about it before I answer it carefully, “If I was given the choice yes. It would have been a no, but I see how hard he is trying, and I am impressed by it. So, if he was not a dumbass, yes.”

Hisoka does not say anything but watches me. It unsettles me a bit, but I wait until he says something else. It also worries me that he even asked that since I do find the long-haired male attractive in an annoying way. A few seconds pass before he does say something, and it surprises me yet again.

“I am aware of your Fun Bubbles. Illumi told me about the name when I asked about any powers you had. It is rather fitting, I think. I named my own attacks Bungee Gum and Texture Surprise after my favorite chewing gum and candy brand,” Hisoka states with that annoying smirk of his.

I am a bit surprised once more since he is trying to make me feel better about my childish name. I ignore it since I know he is only doing this to figure me out more. It is not genuine, unlike Chrollo who thought it was cute. Just the thought warms and hurts my heart momentarily.

“Ah, it’s getting late. We will pick this up another time. Tell Chrollo hello for me,” He whispers directly in my ear.

I push him away from me and grumble curses as I leave his room to get to mine. Once in the safety of my room, I check my phone. To my absolute horror, I have dozens of missed calls from Feitan and even worse a few text messages from him and Illumi.

Maybe I should have let Hisoka keep my phone.

Either way, my fingers start to type the number I know by heart, but I stop myself before I push the call button. I do not even know why I wanted to call Chrollo or maybe I do, and it is from these unnecessary feelings I am not allowed to have. Hisoka’s question about choice rings in my head and with a heavy heart I toss my phone on the desk in the room.

If I had the choice to allow myself to express these feelings I would. However, I do not and that is why I should not let myself indulge in pursuing this wanting feeling I have for Chrollo. I need to focus on training tragedies for Killua and Gon and then when I am satisfied with their training, I need to leave to return to being the Mercenary Death Angel I once was.


	12. MDA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader sort of snaps to a slightly serious person when she talks to a client.

“Dude, if you fucking make another sound again, I will lose my mind,” I state as I keep my eyes focused on Gon’s fight with Gido.

I can feel the amusement leaking out of Hisoka and I just want to punch the life out of him. Thankfully, he does not say a word. Unfortunately, he takes my hand in his and holds as if we were a couple. He says nothing more as we both watch intrigued by Gon’s fight, my intrigue with pure intentions.

Gon is doing well with blocking and getting a few hits in but he is not going to win. Not with his lack of understanding with Nen. I only feel a smidge of anger when I turn out to be right and he loses. It is annoying but I must remind myself that he is just a child and one that did not grow up where I did, where I was forced to fight, kill, and steal at a young age.

He will grow and thankfully not as I did.

“Are you going down to see the kiddy? He is bound to be in pain so maybe you can ease it,” Hisoka states with that fucking smirk of his.

I do not hesitate. With my free hand, I knock the bitch out. Or try to anyway. He evades the hit with ease and takes the hand into his other one and beams at me for at least trying.

“You are aware of the term you are using and how that came out most creepily. Fuck off,” I mumble.

His smirk falters as he narrows his eyes down at me, examining me. I ignore it knowing that I have been colder towards him this week. Some of it he deserved but it was mostly me trying to distance myself. It is mostly that he went behind my back to purposely show Gon and Killua that he is stronger than them last night when they tried to make it to the 200th floor as promised. I am happy he showed them they can’t manage without Nen and impressed they grasped it within a few hours, but I am peeved. I ignore his stare, shake his hands from mine, and get up.

“I got to go give my input. I will see you later.”

With that said, I leave. My heart is heavy after I had come to terms that I need to return to my job. I need to become heartless and push my feelings for Chrollo away. I force these thoughts away as soon as I see Killua wave to me. I take notice of a man next to him with another child.

Once I am in hearing distance, he greets me and says, “Yo. They already escorted Gon up to his room and put his arm in a cast.”

“Cool. What is with the angry guy?” I ask eyeing the stranger.

Killua smiles. “This is Wing and Zushi. He taught us about Nen last night He is sort of a temporary mentor for us? He’s the teacher for Zushi though.”

Wing smiles and puts out his hand. “Nice to meet you (Last Name)-san. Gon and Killua told me about you. I have been keeping an eye on them along with my student, so I am glad I was able to help them instead of letting them walk through that reckless decision last night. They don’t listen.”

“Oh god, it sounds like I have my work cut out for me then. Shall we head up then?” I ask and Killua immediately leads the way.

Upon going to Gon’s room, I can feel the anger from Wing growing as we get closer. He slows down his steps to be right by me and whispers, “Apologies for what I am about to do to him. I have grown to care for these boys as if they were my own students. What I saw today infuriated me. I hope you do not mind but I wish to help train them in the way of Nen too since I introduced it to them.”

The way he says that hints that he made a deal with them and that they broke it. If it is like that it is strictly their business and I am okay with having a real teacher help. I nod my head to give my consent and he thanks me.

Killua stops at a door and opens it revealing a sheepish Gon. With no words given, Wing walks up to him and slaps the boy. I only stare as Gon seems to realize what he did.

“The condition of learning Nen from me was that you wait two months until a fight. I had to see you force yourself to use Ten to activate Zetsu. I have no idea how you learned that but what you did was risky. You risked your life to improve. I forbid you to study Nen or to compete until you are healed,” Wing states.

Gon’s eyes widen but he does not protest. He nods his head and then looks at me as if to apologize. I only smile. “Hey, when you make a promise you keep it. Otherwise, face the consequences. I assume you won’t train until Gon can, right Killua?” I ask turning to the other boy.

He only gives me a smug look and I laugh.

“Of course, I am a bit thankful for this turn of the outcome. I do need to return to my job soon,” I admit.

The four people stare at me with just a bit of curiosity, but I shut that down real fast. I give them all a small glare before putting on my happy face. “Well, let me give you my input of the fight before I leave. I am sure I will see you around unless fucking Hisoka decides to ruin my life or something. Anyway, I thought you did wonderful for your first fight without any prior Nen experience. I am astounded by how fast you two learned the basics of Nen. Of course, what you did was stupid. You should not be so careless and risk your own life just to improve. You can get better results without rushing. Wing seems to know what he is doing so I hope you listen to him,” I say softly.

There is a tender smile forming on my face as I see Gon’s eyes light up. Killua is also happy that I am not totally bashing Gon for ignoring his promise. However, he gets a bit too curious and it shows in his question.

“Is there any advice you can give us with your knowledge of combat?” Killua asks.

In other words, can I tell them anything I deem worthy of my experiences? “No. You do not want to hear any of that. It may seem cool but the way I had to learn in order to survive was not. I will tell you this. My knowledge and the way I grew up made me only want to fight to kill or for money. You do not want to be like that,” I murmur.

The conversation is done. “I will see you around. Take care of yourself. I got to go babysit a clown,” I make sure to leave off on a high note.

The two boys wish me luck while Wing and Zushi bid me a good evening.

Feeling exhausted just with life, I head up to my room. I am going to have to deal with that annoying pervert and text Feitan as soon as I get up there. I need to apologize to Feitan and Chrollo for giving them a scare. That is the initial goal….

Until I make it to my room. As soon as I open the door, I see Hisoka in his naked glory looking out the window.

“Hope you do not mind- I used your shower. I prefer yours to my own since it has your scent. Anyway, how is our little Gon?” Hisoka questions as he casually lays on my bed.

I quickly count to ten in my head to calm myself down and not blow a fuse. I am angry and he is thriving from it. I go straight to the bathroom and throw a towel at him. I go back to gather his clothing when something spots me. There is no way he is dumb enough to leave a secret out like this so he must be playing a game.

I pick up the fake skin and become a bit grossed out from the texture. I am reminded of our conversation last week when he tried to get to know me personally then. He said his two favorite attacks so this must be the final product if he puts them together. The Bungee Gum and Texture Surprise to create fake skin with the Spider tattoo on it.

“I am a bit impressed, Hisoka,” I state as I come out holding the fake skin up.

He does not move an inch but smirks. “You can come put it on my back unless you plan to get to know me more intimately,” He teases.

I just throw the thing at him and lean against the wall. I raise my eyebrow and ask, “What are you playing at here? Why did you show me this? Openly admit to betraying the Troupe?”

“Mhm. Who knows? Could be I wanted to share a secret with you, could be because you won’t rat me out like that, or maybe I forgot this in the shower?” Hisoka states as he casually puts it on his back.

I narrow my eyes at him. “You are right that I will not tell them but only because I have no idea what game you are playing. The only thing you could be after is power and a lot of them are more powerful than you. Listen, I do not care about your reasoning to deceive them, but I do care about them. I won’t say a word, but I will side with them,” I state

.

“That was beautiful. You just turned me on again-“

“AND we are done with the conversation. Thank you for making me lose a brain cell,” I grumble as I pull out my phone.

Once the clown clothes himself, I make it to the bed and sit beside him. He casually leans against my shoulder to peer at my phone and smirks upon me reading Feitan’s worried messages. I ignore his amusement and send an apology while letting Feitan know I am fine.

Hisoka nuzzles my shoulder and nearly makes me flip out. I can already feel another pervy pick-up line coming on, so I am grateful when my phone rings. Hisoka is about to grab it and answer it when I read the caller ID. Everything in me snaps and Hisoka straightens up and nearly goes on the defense.

I answer it void of emotion. “MDA speaking.”

“Ah, yes. Mercenary Death Angel, I have an emergency contract to make with you. I am willing to pay more than I did last time.”

I hum. “I happen to have some free time and can make this exception for an emergency. As always send me half now along with the address to the destination and I will be on the next plane out. You know the drill. Details can either wait or be sent to me in code.”

“Yes. I remember the drill. Thank you. I will be looking forward to seeing such an amazing employee again. Goodbye.”

I hang up and immediately look for my belongings in the room. Hisoka is intrigued. I can feel his excitement grow and know that I have further trapped him in his endless curiosity about me. I glance up after getting everything together.

“Please do be nice to my boys. I have grown fond of them. Thank you for being an amusing clown for me but the next time we see each other will be Yorknew with the Spider,” I begin to say as I make my way to the door.

I guess my wrong in this was turning my back to him as I feel my face collide with the wall. My anger grows and I have not acted out. Hisoka smiles widely as he whispers in my ear. “Just now. Was that a job? You turned so cold, so different, so powerful.”

I do not have time for this. I hear the familiar ding of my phone signaling I got payment. I turn around seeing he caged me. I believe I have tolerated this man long enough. I place my hand on his arm and he flinches. He waits and I can feel his eye twitch from the slight pain I am inflicting.

“And what is this interesting move you are using?” He questions licking his lips.

A distinct popping sound is made, and he finally moves unable to tolerate the pain. I show him my hand and little bubbles are rising out from it.

“Very similar to your Bomb Bubbles,” He notes.

I nod my head. “I am afraid I do not have time to explain. They are the Pop Bubbles. A tiny but stronger version of the Bomb Bubbles. Meant to cause harm and not be lethal. Bye Hisoka,” I say this time showing any disdain if he tries to stop me again.

He does not. This time he lets me leave freely and I shiver at whatever weird fantasy he must be thinking of right now. Ignoring that, I book my new flight after confirming the money to my account. A wonderful and generous client is who I am meeting. I can only wonder as to what the emergency is. I send a few goodbye texts to Gon and Killua and then I am off.

~*~

Vincent, one of my older clients has his arms wide open to show how grateful he is to see me.

“Welcome! That was a lot faster than I had thought it would be! A few days and you are here! You do not ever disappoint Death Angel. I am afraid this certain emergency requires another excellent professional but not in your field. This person specializes in assassinations and has said to be top tier next to you. I will explain why I contacted you both and about the pay in a moment. For now, I would like to introduce the man who has been graciously awaiting your arrival…” Vincent starts to introduce.

Oh please no. I groan as I already get that feeling in my gut. Then I turn and am indeed met with a monster. It appears I have walked right to my own doom as I feel his eyes stare deep into my soul as I stare back at him…. At Illumi.


	13. My Fiancée

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I officially added titles to all of the chapters! We get the long awaited talk that Illumi and Reader needed to have and things get a teeny bit more serious as Reader tries to keep up her professional act as MDA.

I try to stand up straight- Act like the professional I can be, while ignoring the burning anger searing through my stomach. It feels impossible since Illumi is standing so close to me and within hitting range. I just know he somehow found this client- He knew this was my client. That has to be the case.

Vincent continues to brief us. “Death Angel- (Name), we can call each other friends from how long we have known each other. You have never disappointed me so this- This task I have for the both of you is important. Too important. There can be no mess-ups. You remember my precious daughter, Yua, don’t you?” Vincent asks me.

I nod- She has to be at least five or six now. I attended her first birthday party as a guard and continued until her fourth birthday. So, with this whole year being rather blank- I have not seen her or Vincent for two years then. I am lowkey proud I was her favorite unicorn at that party.

“Good. You are aware of my position- My ties to the Mafia Community. I am their sole supplier when it comes to unattainable goods and products of the highest quality, weapon-wise. Someone outside of the Mafia Community has found out. There are rumors they are planning on hitting me where it hurts- My daughter. She is my known weakness. Your job is to always keep your eyes on her. Illumi’s job will be finding out who intends to hurt my girl and who is trying to sever the ties I have to the Mafia and killing them. I know it seems like a lot but with the eldest son of the best family of assassins here and the only mercenary I hold to the highest regards- I know you can do it,” Vincent states.

Illumi speaks up. “I will need those leads you spoke of. Before we are separated, (Name) I wish to talk to you.”

Of course, his voice is emotionless as always but… He is breaking his professionalism… To talk about his fantasy engagement with me. I can’t allow that. I remain silent as Vincent eyes us with a look of amusement.

“You already know each other?” Vincent asks seeming to be happy that I am not completely robotic when it comes to outside relationships.

Illumi nods. “(Name) is my fiancée.”

…Counting is not going to work in calming down my anger. I take a deep breath to try and save my professional face when I end up nodding…

I nodded.

I accidentally agreed. 

I take it back immediately.

“I am not- We are not-“

Vincent cuts me off with laughter. “Yes- Yes. By all means, you lovebirds may speak to each other before your mission starts. I will get my daughter and her things ready and return here- (Name), when you are done speaking to your beloved, you will head to this secured hotel with my precious daughter.”

He leaves the meeting room leaving Illumi and I alone…

“You have GOT to be kidding me, Illumi. Did you know that Vincent is my client? Is that why you took the job?” I ask heated.

Illumi puts a finger on his lips as he thinks. He looks surprised… In a very delayed time as he answers, “I had no clue, but it is a very welcoming surprise.”

I… Feel defeated. There is no hope with him- I sigh and Illumi’s gaze lands on my left hand where the finger is missing. His gaze… It actually seems to look saddened. This intrigues me since I could have sworn mister does-not-listen-to-me had no genuine feelings.

“I wanted to apologize about your finger. I did not think you would go through such a drastic measure to take it off. I admit it was frustrating when it led me to that empty house, and I could not find it. It appears you can avoid me for as long as you wish,” Illumi notes.

I huff. “Not long enough apparently.”

His lips that are always in a straight line turn down into a scowl. For a second, I swear I could have seen a bit of guilt. Or maybe that is what I wanted to see. I have no clue, but it did make me feel a bit bad- I am acting like a child but so is he… I think. I need to take into consideration that he is the first-born child to two complete lunatics.

So yeah… Maybe I could give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I am not giving up on you being my fiancé. It has been a year and Mother is going a bit crazy but- I managed to calm her. I want you to think about it seriously- And yes I am aware of your curse so I will be as understanding as I can,” Illumi states.

…How the hell does he know?

“Hisoka said you can bring your finger to wherever you go? Call for it and I will take the ring off,” Illumi states.

…Fucking Hisoka, of course. That explains everything. Total jerk is going behind my back to tell my fiancé- I MEAN ENEMY what is going on with my situation.

I sigh but do as I am told. That way the next time I see the Troupe, Machi can fix my finger as promised. I kneel to the floor and draw a circle in the floorboard with my finger. “Bubble Storage,” I murmur.

The familiar opening in the floorboards appears and I whisper, “Unlock and open.”

I reach my hand in and feel the coolness of the bubble. I immediately find my finger and it feels so surreal that it is mine. I sigh as I hand it to Illumi. With ease, he takes the gorgeous ring off and carefully hands me back my finger.

I drop it back into the bubble and say, “Close.”

“Not locking it?” Illumi questions.

…I am going to kill Hisoka. “How much did Hisoka tell you?” I ask.

Illumi hums. “Everything he knows. That you can create storage bubbles and leave them if you so wish by saying Lock. The curse that someone placed on you, that does not allow you to get close to anyone. How you would give me a chance if I were not a “dumbass”. Oh, and how you have a lovely choice of underwear. Of course, I would not know that. I will simply take his word for it.”

“I need to make a contract with you and have you assassinate Hisoka,” I state seriously.

Illumi replies just as serious, “Denied. Hisoka is reliable when it comes to getting information I need.”

About me or what? I do not say that. Instead, I watch as the storage bubble disappears and force my professional behavior to rise back up.

“Oh (Name)- I meant my apology. My family has the resources to help find someone to break your curse. If you want to all you need to do is, ask after this mission. I will help if it means your life will no longer be on the line when you want to get close to people. I… Would still like the opportunity to try to get to know you but I understand if my past actions were too far for you,” Illumi states.

His words… Do feel genuine- It is in that I know he is serious in trying to feel emotions. It makes me smile.

I reply back in a soft tone, “Thank you Illumi. Now let us do a badass job for Vincent.”

~*~

“Auntie (Name)!! Daddy says we’re going to live together for a bit!!” Yua says happily as she jumps into my arms.

Yua is a cute little girl- Her hair a jet black like her father’s and with blue eyes like him too. A literal mini him. As far as I am aware- Her mother is not in the picture and that is another reason why Vincent is so protective of Yua. I am surprised this child even remembers me. It has been too long, but her excitement is also genuine. 

I ease up and smile at her. “Yup. Me and you are going to have a blast! Did your dad tell you to behave for me?”

“Yeah!! You are my hero he said! I have to listen to make you happy! We can make cupcakes too!” She says happily.

I laugh at that. No doubt Vincent has the hotel filled with activities to keep her occupied for weeks until Illumi finishes the job. It could take days or even months depending on how much Illumi needs to find out.

I have not worked with him before with one of my own clients, so it is tough for me to say what he is capable of. All I know is he will get the job done rather fast after he finds the information he needs where I will take care of Yua in the meantime since Vincent’s concern is her safety.

If that is the case that means I need to be extra cautious if anyone is after her.

The hotel we go to is stunning. I am in awe since it is even better than the hotel the Hunter’s Association used for their exam. Vincent really does have dough. There are a few selected guards acting as hotel staff to help provide security as I entertain Yua.

The first thing I do when we get to our penthouse suite is provide more security. Yua watches with fascination as I press my hand to the floor in front of our door. A large circle of nen surrounds my hand and I immediately write the word malice into it before I remove my hand. A bubble starts to form before it pops, and a white light momentarily shines on the floor before becoming invisible. 

“WHOA! WHAT WAS THAT?!” Yua questions with excitement.

I laugh. “That, my dear, will make sure we are extra safe during our stay here! We do not want any bad guys winning, do we?”

“Ew. No!”

I laugh as her cheeks puff up at that and motion her into the penthouse. She steps carelessly onto the pressed-down bubble and I nod. It always works… This technique, Pressure Bubbles, is like a pressure plate but when I write the emotion in it- In this case malice, those who have the intent to hurt me or Yua will step on an explosion. This technique consumes a lot of nen and always leaves me feeling tired, but the good news is since we are stuck here for the time being, it will stay put indefinitely. If I leave too far the nen simply vanishes and returns to me. I have to do this a few more times and I guess I will make it nap time. 

Yua watches me intently as I do this process to the windows- Never know who can climb or walk on buildings like Feitan. I grimace at the thought- I would be terrified of Feitan jump scaring me.

When we are officially settled in- I do feel exhausted. Yua is already playing with the gigantic dollhouse that was placed here and having a blast.

“Yua- You know the rules, right?” I ask softly.

She turns with a doll in her hand and immediately says, “Yes! Daddy said to listen to you. You said don’t leave the room and talk to you.”

Essentially- Yeah. There were more rules, but the bottom line is do not leave without me and talk to me if she needs something. I nod. 

“Five more minutes Yua. Then I think it is nap time. When we wake up, we will figure out what to eat,” I murmur.

Yua nods happily as she resumes playing. I smile at that. I am happy I can at least witness kids actually being kids. It hurts I never got to but if I can have jobs like this- It reminds me that I do have some humanity in me.

My phone rings and I answer it assuming it is Vincent. “We are all set and ready. I am going to put her down for a nap soon, but I will have her call you when she wakes up.”

“ _Who are we talking about?_ ” Chrollo’s voice asks.

Ah shit. I totally forgot about him and wanted to leave it that way for a while. My heart is already aching from my prior realization that I do harbor feelings for this man. I remain silent- Feeling the guilt of not informing him of what I do, as I had been this past year.

“… _You do not have to say anything you do not wish to. Hisoka just informed me of your serious side when taking on a job. I just wanted to know if you were safe since we have not had our usual calls_ ,” Chrollo says softly.

I feel so much guilt now. I sigh. Damn Hisoka for making my business everyone else’s apparently.

I can’t get emotional like this. Not when I am on a mission. I speak briefly even though it pains me. “Sorry but you are speaking to MDA right now. I am afraid I can’t talk until my contract is complete. If you have any questions concerning what the clown told you, feel free to speak to Feitan. He has experiences with my behavior. If you insist on talking to me soon on personal matters, I will try to find a convenient time for me to contact you,” I state as my prior self would.

The oldish me that did not want anything to do with attractions because of my curse. Without emotion. Rather cold. 

I hate talking to Chrollo this way, but I need to. I need to put that wall up that he so easily broke down that first night we met.

The silence I am met with is overwhelming but my heart falls at his understanding. “ _I see. I apologize for interrupting your work. Please stay safe and… Remember I am still on your side_.”

He hangs up.

I am the worst person on the planet. I sigh as the exhaustion sweeps over me again and I see Yua rub at her eyes. I try to ignore my heavy heart as I tell her to it is nap time.

“C’mon sweet pea. Naptime then food- And telling your dad the place is pretty cool. How does that sound?” I ask as I grab a few pillows and blankets from her suitcase and put them on the couch.

She nods her head sleepily and as soon as her little head touches the couch- She is out like a light. I chuckle and grab a blanket of my own and choose to sleep beside her- Making sure once again in my mind that I did get all the entrances and exits with Pressure Bubbles. 

Now, I can finally rest.

~*~

The next two weeks go by rather quickly. Though it was getting harder to keep Yua entertained since she slowly yearns to go outside. I have not heard from Illumi and Vincent is very vague about the situation.

All-in-all this contract is so far one of the best ones I have had. Chillaxing with a child in a great hotel? I am so glad Vincent is my older client now. Right now, Yua is falling asleep next to me, her head leaned into my arm, as we watch a singing cartoon movie.

Soon enough I hear her soft snores and I smile. She really is precious- I can see why Vincent is so overprotective. The thought quickly goes away when my phone buzzes. To my surprise it is Illumi. I answer it but stay quiet.

“ _This is not relevant to the mission but is this what you would call good parenting? You look comfortable with the girl- Like a true mother would or at least, I think. I can’t recall Mother ever being affectionate with us_ ,” Illumi states.

“What the fuck and how the hell can you see me?” I whisper.

He answers, “Rooftop. Look to your right. You and the girl were being watched. I have not killed the guy yet, but he seems to have made this rooftop his hideout. There are some interesting notes about you and the child regarding your schedule. However, it appears he knows more about your abilities than he should just by watching. I am going to find a position to spy on him as he spies on you before I take him out.”

I have a bad feeling in my gut. 

“Okay- How long do you need to watch him before you take him out? I would love to close these curtains now but that could put him on edge,” I murmur.

Illumi replies, “Just two or three days. I would like to see why he has an interest in you before I dispose of him.”

“I could care less- Just do what you do so we can Yua back home safely and Vincent happy,” I mumble.

“ _Of course. Our job is going to be more than satisfactory. I will contact you once more when I finish my side of the job. Bye.”_

I put down my phone and… My gut churns more. I really do not have a good feeling but- It should be solved when Illumi does his part. I sigh as I look down at the sleeping girl. Soon she will be able to return and I… Will be able to do more contracts.

Is that really what I want to do though? 

No, but… It is all I can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Illumi really do be appreciating your motherly side >: )
> 
> ~~Poor Chrollo~~ I do not know why but I keep thinking Hisoka would be such a gossiper falksdjfa
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the update!


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